User talk:Kirbkati/sandbox

Telenursing is a subtopic of telemedicine, but the information on telenursing isn't comprehensive enough. The future of telenursing as part of telemedicine is now being developed. Telenursing will be the future of healthcare and telemedicine. Nurses will be the at the forefront of telehealth. (I would shift your tone here to be less absolute. There is no way to know for certain if telenursing is the future of nursing. It may be the most likely candidate, but you need to be sure to qualify here instead of using absolute language. Remember that these articles are to be from an unbiased distant point of view. Suggesting telenursing may become the future of healthcare and telemedicine, and stating if that happens then nurses will be at the forefront of telehealth is a far better tone for this article.)

"Telenursing: The future of nursing." Allnurses.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 04 June 2017.

"How Will Telemedicine Impact the Future of Health Care?" How Will Telemedicine Impact the Future of Health Care? - Blog. N.p., 03 Nov. 2016. Web. 04 June 2017. (Blogs are not good sources for this topic. There has to be some quality work on this topic in medical journals. You should check out our library's medical journals. If you need help there are librarians on staff who can help; you can even email them.)

Schlachta-Fairchild, Loretta. "Patient Safety, Telenursing, and Telehealth." Patient Safety and Quality: An Evidence-Based Handbook for Nurses. U.S. National Library of Medicine, n.d. Web. 04 June 2017.

Stokowski, Laura A. "Healthcare Anywhere: The Pledge of Telehealth." Medscape Log In. N.p., n.d. Web. 04 June 2017.

Kirbkati (talk) 02:00, 5 June 2017 (UTC)

Telemedicine is referred to as using computer based technologies to create access to medical knowledge and information. While telehealth is using telemedicine to treat and diagnose patients. (The first sentence is passive and awkward. Who is referring to telemedicine in this way? Be clear and direct, so something like "Scholars refer to telemedicine as using computer based etc." Your second sentence is a fragment. End the first with a semicolon, then put a comma after "while.")

Well, American. "The Difference Between Telehealth and Telemedicine." American Well. N.p., 27 Jan. 2016. Web. 04 June 2017.

Telemedicine was first introduced in 1924 via a magazine cover who ("that showed" a magazine is an object, not a person) showed the possibility of a doctor able to see his patient and for the doctor to be seen by the patient. (Clarify, as the ability for me to see my doctor and the doctor to see me happens everytime I go to her office for a checkup. YOu want to be clear that you are talking about this over a distance using some kind of technology.) However, the first attempt at this was never made until 1927. Common telemedicine that we use in today's world includes calls to doctor's offices, emergency 911 calls, and other virtual communications such as patient portals where medical information and advice is communicated.

Institute of Medicine (US) Committee on Evaluating Clinical Applications of Telemedicine. "Evolution and Current Applications of Telemedicine." Telemedicine: A Guide to Assessing Telecommunications in Health Care. U.S. National Library of Medicine, 01 Jan. 1996. Web. 04 June 2017.

Telenursing is limited to nursing cares and other medical information and cares inside a nurses scope of practice.

Schlachta-Fairchild, Loretta. "Patient Safety, Telenursing, and Telehealth." Patient Safety and Quality: An Evidence-Based Handbook for Nurses. U.S. National Library of Medicine, n.d. Web. 04 June 2017.

Make new section in telepsychiatry for “resources of telemedicine” starting with “In the United States……”

Kirbkati (talk) 02:17, 5 June 2017 (UTC)

So, all of the above should be in your sandbox, not the talk page. This page is for people to comment on your work. Along with my comments in bold above, generally you will need to move past the outline into a well constructed article. I would also say you want to focus on telenursing and not worry about telepsychiatry. I do not think you need a definition of telemedicine either, as the article already links to the telemedicine article as a reference. Clafjaco (talk) 18:59, 5 June 2017 (UTC)

I would avoid being so direct like saying "telenursing will be the future," and "nurses will be at the forefront of telehealth." Those kind of phrases are not a neutral stance and they indicate that you are biased toward one side. Another thing would be to cite the information clearly. I see that you added references, but I am not sure what they are referring to. Lastly, you should check on the "Telemedicine" talk page to see what other people are doing and saying about this topic. You can throw out some of the information you want to add and get some feedback from other Wikipedia users.Devinjck (talk) 04:08, 8 June 2017 (UTC)