User talk:Kevinyesu
| This user is a student editor in University_of_Windsor/Social_Issues_in_Sport_Management_(winter_2019) . |
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Kevinyesu, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:41, 16 January 2019 (UTC)
Matt's peer review
[edit]Hey Kevin, I chose your page for the peer review assignment. I left a few points on your talk page. Mavinstar (talk) 23:21, 23 February 2019 (UTC)
Draft note
[edit]Hi! I have some notes for you:
- The extra paragraph in the lead section doesn't fit the intro/lead guidelines on Wikipedia, as it doesn't start with the typical "The World Indigenous Games is a multisport event, which involves over 2,000 indigenous athletes competing against one another." type sentence. I'd recommend moving it below or merging it into the previously existing paragraph.
- The sources need to be fixed to be in-line citations to keep in line with Wikipedia's citation style guidelines.
- Be careful of tone. By large what you have is fine, however there are some parts that come across as a bit of a personal statement or subjective. For example, the statement "Despite being an international event, The World Indigenous (WIN) Games are not very well recognized by the public." could be seen as subjective to the reader. Some may say that an event being international doesn't guarantee that something will be generally well-known and that it's normal for events that aren't extremely mainstream to be well-known. There's also the question of whether or not it's well-known by the general public who are aware of games like this. It's something that I'd leave out of the article.
- The issues faced section is what I'm more concerned about, as it's written in a fairly favorable tone towards the games. I'd re-write the lead sentence to go from this:
- Because of their short history (only two WIN games have been organized so far), there are a lot of logistical and planning issues that need to be addressed.
- To something like this:
- The WIN games have faced several logistical and planning issues.
- This puts it more to the point. Something to take into consideration is that a short history of operation isn't necessarily the reasons for an event experiencing issues. This is something that tends to be sort of natural for events to face and more importantly, saying that it's because of its short operation can be seen as original research.
- I'd remove this part from the section, as it's a personal statement on the future of the WIN Games and the event itself:
- Nevertheless, the organization of more WIN Games will result in positive outcomes. The WIN Games are a perfect way for Indigenous communities to showcase their cultures/traditions and a prominent platform to bring awareness to the issues they face.
I hope that this helps! I think you have a good choice of an article! Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:39, 5 March 2019 (UTC)
I plan on adding more information about the 2017 WIN Games: what activities were involved, schedule, etc. Additionally, I will provide some historical background on how the WIN Games started.
Here are a few sources:
Bell, R. (2017). 'We have so much to offer': World Indigenous Games comes to Alberta this summer | CBC News. Retrieved from https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/wilton- littlechild-world- indigenous-games-enoch-1.4071938 Black, D. (2007). The symbolic politics of sport megaevents: 2010 in comparative perspective. Politikon, 34(3), 261–276 Chen, C., Mason, D., & Misener, L. (2018). Exploring Media Coverage of the 2017 World Indigenous Nations Games and North American Indigenous Games: A Critical Discourse Analysis. Event Management, 22(6), 1009-1025. Hiller, H. H. (2000). Mega-events, urban boosterism and growth strategies: An analysis of the objectives and legitimations of the Cape Town 2004 Olympic bid. International Journal of Urban and Regional Research, 24(2), 449–458
Is everything in the article relevant to the article topic? Is there anything that distracted you?
Yes, everything in the article is relevant to the World Indigenous Games. Nothing seems to be out of topic, therefore nothing was distracting.
Is any information out of date? Is anything missing that could be added?
The article was last edited on the 12th of December 2018, at 11:16. Despite this being recent, there is no details about the 2017 World Indigenous Games in Alberta, Canada. The 2017 event in Alberta is just quickly listed as one of the two World Indigenous Games, and does not give any further details on the event (number of participants, number of countries participating, games played, etc.).
Additionally, there are very brief descriptions of only three traditional games. Expanding on these games, as well as adding more traditional games to the list will provide the reader a better understanding of the World Indigenous Games.
Lastly, not all of the 30 countries that participated in the 2015 World Indigenous Games are listed (and there is no mention of the countries that participated in the 2017 Games).
What else could be improved?
The overall text was a bit unorganized and not easy to read. Sentences/paragraphs are not transitioned well, making it a bit hard to read and follow.
Is the article neutral? Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position?
Yes, the article is neutral and does not make any biased claims.
Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented?
Quoted directly from the Wikipedia article: “Overall these Olympics are not about competition but are about celebration.”
I believe this topic is under-represented in the article. It is just mentioned and does not expand on why/how the games were more focused on celebrations rather than competitions. This is a big component of the World Indigenous Games and one of the biggest element that differentiates it from the Olympic Games.
Check a few citations. Do the links work? Does the source support the claims in the article?
Tecnologia, CRP. "The Games". www.i-games2015.com. Retrieved 2016-05-17.
This website is non-existent, and the domain is up for sale. This is used three times to reference a claim.
Spencer.B (2001).
Not sure who is Spencer, where/when did he claim what the article is referencing, and how to see if the information is true since that is the complete reference that appears.
Is each fact referenced with an appropriate, reliable reference? Where does the information come from? Are these neutral sources? If biased, is that bias noted?
Other than the ones listed above, the references seem appropriate and even includes a scholarly article. The sources seem to be reliable and have a neutral point of view.
What kinds of conversations, if any, are going on behind the scenes about how to represent this topic?
No talk about how to represent this topic.
How is the article rated? Is it a part of any WikiProjects?
This article is part of 3 WikiProjects (Brazil, Ethnic Groups, and Multi-Sport Events) – all three rated as start-class, low importance