User talk:Kennady30

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Welcome!

Hello, Kennady30, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:29, 10 June 2019 (UTC)

KUwtK article

Hi! I saw that you added to the article on this. Upon reviewing the content, it looked like it needed to be tweaked more and actually added to a different section. The content comes across more along the lines of reception to the show as opposed to development. There is some development content in there, but it would need to be phrased differently. I've removed it for the time being.

Before I get into my notes about the content I do want to say that I'm a bit leery about the source. It looks to be an undergraduate college thesis, which poses a bit of a problem since these typically don't get the type of scrutiny and oversight that a PhD or even a Master's thesis would. As such, this is something that some editors may not see as a reliable source. Basically, while the student's work would get some scrutiny the people who are reviewing it would be much more forgiving of an undergraduate's thesis (even at the honors level) than they would be of someone who is looking to graduate with the highest possible type of degree (PhD), meaning that they would pass on things that they would reject for a PhD student.

That said, here's the content, followed by some notes:

Many believe her sex tape with Ray J prompted her families fame. However, the Keeping up with the Kardashians series paved way for a new era of reality television. Their television show has been known to falsify certain aspects of their life to make it more exciting. When her sister, Khloe Kardashian, was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol, E! recreated the scene. They couldn’t air actual footage, so they had the family reenact so they could still have some substance to the episode. Also with their lives so public, the show would have been negatively affected had they not addressed Khloe's incident at all. People feel connected to each sibling in the show and continue to support the family. The show has led to multiple brands and collaborations for the family, and led their multimillion dollar fame.

• When it comes to claims such as "many believe" or anything that could be seen as controversial you should always attribute them to the specific person making the claim. For example, while some may say that the sex tape is what made the family famous, others would argue that it could be a number or mixture of other factors, such as Caitlyn Jenner or Robert Kardashian's careers. However that said, the family's past is already covered in the background section so there's no need to bring it up in the development section.

• This needs to be tightened, as the central gist of the paragraph is unclear. It looks to cover both development as well as their reception/impact and background, which are different areas of the article.

• The part about the brands and collaborations is already in the article for the most part per the statement ""These shows are a 30-minute commercial," Khloé Kardashian admitted in 2011, in response to a suggestion that the television series is used to promote their retail stores and endorsement deals." To be honest, I think you could probably justify creating a section that goes into more information about the stores and endorsement deals that are specific to the show. Keep in mind though, that this should only be the material that is brought up on the show. There could be a sentence about their social media endorsements, but it should only be made in passing. I would bring this up on the article's talk page first, however.

• At present what I'd move back into the article would be the claim about the show recreating events and even scripting some of them to one degree or another. Maybe add "Some events have been scripted and recreated for the show such as Khloe Kardashian's DUI arrest during the first season." Now I will say that if there is anything that comes across as a reaction to the show, such as accusations that it is scripted, it may belong in the reception section instead since this could be classified as reception.

I hope that this all helps! Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:19, 1 July 2019 (UTC)

Additional note

One more note - part of the reason why I went into so much detail about this is because the article is at Good Article status. It also falls into the areas of gender and sexuality because the show deals with transgender issues via Caitlyn Jenner, so the both of these combined makes the article one that is fairly closely monitored. What this ultimately means is that you need to make sure that you're using the strongest possible reliable sources and making sure that you're writing as factually and neutrally as possible. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:22, 1 July 2019 (UTC)