User talk:Katelynyac/The Diversity Center of Northeast Ohio
From a broad standpoint my comments echo Dr. Cassell's. It sounds like "Zero Tolerance Policies" is the main subject, so I would make it clearer that that is the case. Is this meant to be a standalone article? If so you may have issues since an article already exists for this. Maybe you could edit the existing one to add information about how it affects kids in Akron schools? Apologies if that's already what you intend to do. You should also clean up the style a little bit. I would present the facts in a more straightforward, "this is what it is" kind of tone. When you say things like "zero tolerance policies have created a school to prison pipeline," it does show a little bias and puts the policies in a negative light. Regardless of what you believe, you should present both sides and talk about what proponents of these policies think about it.
I would also begin forming the structure of the page itself, like creating headings and subheadings, etc. Just so whoever is reading knows where to look and what each paragraph will be about. Aside from all that, great job coming through with a large number of sources. Shows that the topic really does have a lot of discussion about it. Good luck! Jmartin93 (talk) 00:24, 15 October 2015 (UTC)
Not clear what the topic of the article is. Is it zero tolerance policies? If so, you'll need to state specifically what is a "zero tolerance" policy, where did it come from, and how do you know a zero-tolerance policy from any other policy. There are also a number of facts stated with no citation or support. There are also a number of punctuation and stylistic problems. Mcassell04 (talk) 17:55, 11 October 2015 (UTC)
It sounds as if you want to show that there is discrimination inside of the Akron public school system. Instead of taking that approach, can I suggest maybe writing an article on a specific case of discrimination inside of the Akron public school system, or any school system for that matter. What you want to do is just present unbiased information, "here are the facts" and that is it. Remember, you are contributing to an encyclopedia. Make sure you pay attention to spelling and grammar. Watch some of the videos on how to make an article again or watch them when you are formulating the article. Those videos really do help. They have great tips on how to make headers and sub-headers and all the fun stuff that makes the article fit the set up of all Wikipedia articles. Good job on finding multiple sources. Tbills2 (talk) 03:05, 15 October 2015 (UTC)
Zero tolerance peer review
[edit]I thought the topic you chose is very compelling and is an important issue that may be going unnoticed. I appreciate the topic chosen because before reading your article summary I had no idea about the Zero policy punishment in the Akron schools for young black americans. I am aware of the educational inequality for low income families based on their school district but was not aware that teachers in schools engaged in such a discriminatory practice. Although you seem to have good sources I would have liked to see more information not just a general overview. In the next assignment maybe give more information on how this started, specific schools that engage in this more than others and why , parental views or knowledge of this and some ways in which this can be stopped. But overall great topic! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Lmarzill (talk • contribs) 15:32, 15 October 2015 (UTC)
Independent sources
[edit]Hi Katelynyac. Taking a look at your draft, I think you're on your way to a useful article on the subject, but I'm worried that all the sources you've cited are directly connected to the subject. Wikipedia requires that any article have multiple, reliable sources written by third parties. In this case we'd be looking for local newspapers, mentions in magazines or books or even some websites, provided that they're not connected to the subject. If you can't find sources like that on this subject, it may not be appropriate for Wikipedia. Please let me know if you need a hand looking for sources or understanding Wikipedia's requirements for sourcing and article inclusion (it's a lot to take in, I know). Thanks. Adam (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:34, 20 October 2015 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]I think your topic is both an interesting one, as well as one that will provide useful information for those living in Northeast Ohio. Overall, the organization of you article looks good. However, I would suggest adding more information to your introduction, such as how many people work at the center; how many people does it serve; and what kind of training do those who work there have to partake, exactly? Also, in the history portion, you discuss hatred that was going on in Northeast Ohio that sparked a need for a diversity center, however, you don't further explain what that hatred was or what all it entailed. Lastly, I would encourage you to diversify your sources. It seems that many of your attribution are from a lot of the same sources. Otherwise, good work! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Jhutch2872 (talk • contribs) 04:04, 16 November 2015 (UTC)
Peer Review 11-15-15
[edit]I think your topic is both an interesting one, as well as one that will provide useful information for those living in Northeast Ohio. Overall, the organization of you article looks good. However, I would suggest adding more information to your introduction, such as how many people work at the center; how many people does it serve; and what kind of training do those who work there have to partake, exactly? Also, in the history portion, you discuss hatred that was going on in Northeast Ohio that sparked a need for a diversity center, however, you don't further explain what that hatred was or what all it entailed. Lastly, I would encourage you to diversify your sources. It seems that many of your attribution are from a lot of the same sources. Otherwise, good work!Jhutch2872 (talk) 04:06, 16 November 2015 (UTC)jhutch2872
Peer Review
[edit]Hi Katelynyac!
I am familiar with the Diversity Center, so I think it is an interesting organization to write about. I have a few suggestions. There is a minor typo in the last sentence of the first section "Eerie." I would consider adding a section for community partners similar to the wiki site for the National Federation for Just Communities Organization. It was difficult for me to find a lot of information about the Diversity Center, but I found a few scholarly articles that explore the importance of diversity in the workplace. Hopefully they can be used as sources to help complete your article.
http://www.diversityinc.com/diversity-and-inclusion/diversity-management-cleveland/
http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.567.1869&rep=rep1&type=pdf
Griffin710 (talk) 23:54, 16 November 2015 (UTC)
Response to Peer edits/reviews
[edit]Thank you to my two classmates for the peer edits! It was particularly helpful to have extra sources provided to add to my article. I certainly was struggling to decide what else to add, so thank you. I also appreciate the feedback on adding more to my introduction and will make these changes in the next few days. Thank you both!Katelynyac (talk) 03:40, 18 November 2015 (UTC)