User talk:KasonL/sandbox
Some Suggestions
[edit]Hey KasonL, Overall, the article draft looks good. The lead section is informative and does its job of introducing the topic by summarizing the main ideas that you address later on. All of the information is under the correct subtopics and your ideas logically flow throughout each paragraph. The source citing looks correct and is placed where it should be. I only have some minor suggestions for improving your article. I think the subtopics names should be capitalized, and you also change up the capitalization of "boy egg" in your draft. I am confused as to whether Dongyong or Dongyang is the correct name, since you use both spellings. Also, there a few slight grammatical errors. "Spring time" should be one word, "deeply rooted tradition" should say "deeply rooted in tradition," "residence" should say residents, the sentence that begins "One standing speculation..." should be reworded since it sounds slightly awkward, and "heat stroke" should have a period at the end of the sentence. Also, at the end of your first section, it says "Studies show that" and abruptly stops. Your sources are scholarly and peer-reviewed, except for the first one, which comes from ministryoftofu. I also noticed that you used only about half of the sources, and that the other half is not numbered or formatted correctly in the notes section. I suggest adding to your draft using these sources, and making sure that they are cited correctly. MarcCip (talk) 19:39, 2 November 2016 (UTC)