User talk:Jojaffer
A kitten for you!
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kitten
Marco0126 (talk) 17:16, 5 October 2016 (UTC)
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Jojaffer, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:23, 5 October 2016 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]From: Nicole Hojman To: Jordyn Jaffer Date: 11/28/16 ENGW 3307
Summary
This Wikipedia article is an informative piece on Sabermetrics. Sabermetrics is the empirical analysis of baseball, especially baseball statistics that measure in-game activity. The article offers a history of Sabermetrics, presenting information on people that were involved in its creation such as Henry Chadwick, Earnshaw Cook and Bill James. The author expands on the measure of Sabermetrics as well as its function in relation to baseball. Measurements used in Sabermetrics include batting measurements, pitching measurements, and fielding measurements. The article also touches upon other uses of Sabermetrics that have been used by various notable proponents. Sabermetrics has been used to create online databases of baseball statistics, websites, and has been used by many as a way of furthering research on baseball statistics. Sections that the author plans to expand on include: Pitching Measurements, Fielding Measurements, and Modern Advancements.
Major Points 1. Section on Functions of Sabermetrics
This article is very informative and very detailed. The sequence in which the article is written flows nicely and offers the reader guidance when reading about a slightly complicated topic. However, the article would benefit from a section on why Sabermetrics is important and what kind of benefits it’s analysis offers to those playing, coaching, and watching baseball. The Functions section could follow the “Measure of Sabermetrics” section so that readers know first how Sabermetrics works, and then why what it measures can impact others.
2. Clarity Although the article is full of information that gives the reader a sense of what Sabermetrics is, how it came to be, and how it is used currently, there are aspects of the article that lack clarity. The “History” section is a bit confusing as it jumps from Henry Chadwick to Earnshaw Cook very abruptly without explaining how the boxscore influenced sabermetrics. Including the reasons for why Cook’s book was widely criticized and rejected from baseball organizations might be useful in grasping what is so extreme about this type of baseball analysis. Perhaps the section could even be divided into subheading of the respective individuals that contributed to sabermetrics. The other section that could use a preface or a quick background it the “Other Uses of Sabermetrics” section of the article. It is unclear as to what this section is supposed to tell the reader. Instead of immediately starting a “Notable Proponents” list and a “Groups” list there should be a small intro as to what this section means that gives the reader a fuller understanding of sabermetrics. There are also various sentences that could use restructuring to add clarity and flow to the piece. For example in the “Measure of Sabermetrics” section the sentence “A popular sabermetric statistic is considered value over replacement player” could be re-written as “’Value over replacement player’ is considered a popular sabermetric statistic.” There are many sentenced that need the same type of editing or restructuring.
Minor Points 1. Typos
There are small typos throughout the piece. For example under the “History” section, in the sentence “Sabermetric reasoning would say…” the i should be is. Another instance of a typo is in the “Measure of Sabermetrics” section in the sentence “Several Baseball Prospectus authors have invented…sabermetric measures and techniques” has an extra “upon” that can be taken out. These are small and easy fixes that can be taken care of instantly.
2. Pictures/ Diagrams Including pictures or diagrams that relate to the content of the article could be beneficial in adding to the reader’s intrigue of the topic. A graph or chart is another option as well.
Nickihoj5695 (talk) 03:25, 29 November 2016 (UTC)nickihoj5695