User talk:Jeterfan252
Welcome
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Smithsonian Institution Archives Edit-a-Thon and Meetup!
[edit]Who should come? You should. Really. | |
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She Blinded Me with Science: Smithsonian Women in Science Edit-a-Thon will be held on Friday, March 30, 2012 at the Smithsonian Archives in Washington, D.C. This edit-a-thon will focus on improving and writing Wikipedia content about women from the Smithsonian who contributed to the sciences. It will be followed by a happy hour meetup!
We look forward to seeing you there!
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...and if you do not live in the Washington, D.C. area, please forgive the intrusion and you can delete this invite! Sarah (talk) 04:46, 8 March 2012 (UTC)
Thoughts on your sandbox work
[edit]Hi, just replying to the questions you left on Buggie's talk page in case he can't get back to you right away! Looking through your sandbox work, I have a few suggestions and comments!
- You will want to read your section in relation to the other sections-- just from a glance-through (and I don't know sports very well so maybe I'm just confused!), it seemed like you were suggesting that Division III schools offer scholarships, while the article that is already there suggests that Division III schools don't offer scholarships. Just remember that the article is the full entity, and that all subsections should work to create a cohesive whole.
- You will probably want to retitle your sub-subsections as "Financial Comparison," etc., and your whole section to "Comparison of Division I and Division III Athletics."
- While the "financially" section seems good and sufficiently supported by citations, the second section needs quite a bit of work. It's definitely not operating under "neutral point of view," and if you want to make such claims as you make, you need to both 1.) cite the source of that opinion/survey and 2.) offer opposing views, presuming they exist, and cite them, too.
- Under the "Effects" section, you say the results are "surprising." You should change this language as it suggests that you are writing from a certain point of view. After that, the cited bits are useful; just frame them without demonstrating your own view through your choice of words.
Hope that helps! Sleuthwood (talk) 18:45, 15 March 2012 (UTC)
Welcome to Wikipedia: check out the Teahouse!
[edit]Hello! Jeterfan252,
you are invited to the Teahouse, a forum on Wikipedia for new editors to ask questions about editing Wikipedia, and get support from peers and experienced editors. Please join us! Sarah (talk) 16:59, 27 March 2012 (UTC)
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