User talk:Jbeeks11/sandbox

Melanie's Peer Review

One of the first things I noticed about your page is that it does not have a "Lead", which can tell the readers what the general bases of the article will be. I think maybe a brief paragraph that talked about the types of African American art/ Artist you will be talking about would be helpful. If all the artist are from the same time period or share certain themes you could talk about what their work is responding to. In your descriptions of the works both Mickalene Thomas and Glenn Ligon, talk about idea "blackness" as an identity and how it is represented/perceived in society.

Overall, your content is very neutral by not asserting opinions onto the meaning of the pieces. I like that you give an analysis of the work that extends outside of its visual aspects, but you talk about how these pieces start conversations outside of themselves about racial identity and language.

When I read your sentences they flow pretty well. The first half of the Mickalene Thomas paragraph (The Portrait of Mnonja ....sexuality and that of the black female identity), could use better transitions from one sentence to another. After the first half of that paragraph, everything begins to flow and it reads really well.

Maybe think about how you could transition from the "Portrait of Mnonja", section to "Warm Broad Glow," that way they feel connected and not just two separate readings.

I hope I was somewhat helpful. Your topic is great! Good luck!