User talk:Javieraav/sandbox

Here are a few thoughts on where I think future edits should go:

There is a lot of overlap between the introductory paragraph and the etiology section. These two sections could probably be merged.
In the same vein, "Avian malaria in Hawaii" section overlaps in part both "Disease process and epidemiology" and "Control". These sections should also be reviewed to reduce redundancy.
The introductory paragraph and Vector section need to be reconciled, as the introduction provides more details about what the vector organisms are.
There are still many statements throughout the article that need to be backed up by citations.
Parenthetical citations should be converted to wikipedia's automatic numerical format.
Potential bias towards Hawaii. While Hawaii may be a very important case study, there is only limited discussion of avian malaria in the rest of the world and areas where it occurs naturally.

I think that this article is very informative and is off to a great start!
Nhomziak (talk) 04:13, 3 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Discuss more the effects of avian malaria in other parts or areas where it is just chronic.
Preliminary studies that have started with the phylogeographic part.
Uncertainty or disagreement with the naming. controversy on the exact definition of avian malaria, is it just plasmodium or the others too?
Cite the studies of vectors into more detail, or vector diversity.

Javieraav (talk) 15:25, 3 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback from Emily

Emilysessa (talk) 15:38, 15 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

You've made a lot of improvements to the original page, nicely done!

Make sure that all places where there's a word like Plasmodium, which has it's own wikipedia entry, that you link to it - for example, at the very top of the page, in the first sentence the two parasitic genera names you do link them, but then in the following sentences you don't. I guess it's kind of optional, but I prefer it when these names are always linked, so I don't have to scroll back up to the very top of the page to find the first, linked time they're used. This goes for your whole section on Parasite species - there are very, very few words in there linked to other pages on wikipedia, and I would like you to read through and add in those links wherever they seem appropriate. For example, the very first sentence in that section, here are bolded all the words I think you should link:

Avian malaria is a vector-transmitted disease caused by protozoa in the genera Plasmodium and Haemoproteus; these parasites reproduce asexually within bird hosts and both asexually and sexually within their insect vectors, which include mosquitoes (Culicidae), biting midges (Ceratopogonidae), and louse flies (Hippoboscidae).

There will be a lot more throughout the rest of your text.

In the phylogeny section, can you create a figure that approximates the relationships at a broad scale? It would be really helpful to have some kind of illustration that accompanies this section so readers can visualize what the broader relationships you mention look like.

The content is great, very well written. Great job!