User talk:Hollykorn/sandbox

PEER REVIEW:

Hi Holly!! The American women in World War I page looks great. It's clear you did a lot of great work on it, and your contributions certainly made the page much more substantive. Your intro paragraph is a great addition, as it opens the article nicely and gives factual information about the contributions women made/were able to make. Before, the article said nothing about female contributions outside of the armed forces, and that is a really important piece of information to know! I also liked the paragraph you added about the anti-war movement. I think you wrote very clearly and succinctly about women's goals and sentiments surrounding the war. A few suggestions -- in the opening paragraph, you mention that women contributed mostly through volunteer orgs, but no organization is ever named explicitly. Is it possible to add a section on the types of volunteering/organizations women did/joined as part of their war efforts? I think it would enhance the article and increase its credibility. Also, in the anti-war paragraph, there looks like you might be able to hyperlink to other articles (perhaps called "Alice Paul" or "Jane Addams" or "The Women's Peace Party"). I think this would also enhance the article because it would bring into conversation other article pages and help create breadth across the Wiki community. And finally, that same paragraph has only one source. It might increase credibility to find another source that confirms some of the facts to show the community that the facts have been "checked," so to speak. All in all, this looks great!!!

-Alyssa Awhistorywiki (talk) 17:59, 15 November 2017 (UTC)

Peer review - Hadley Great job Holly! Some really great information in there and really interesting as well. I really like how you emphasized the different sorts of women that served as well as the different types of jobs they did during the war. For some of the sentences, I was wondering if there was a citation missing (unless there were multiple sentences for one source all in a row). I also think if you provided more than one source for some of the information, it would strengthen the article even more. Finally, if you can find a picture to add, I think that could really draw people in!

Great job! 205.153.95.177 (talk) 20:42, 18 November 2017 (UTC)