User talk:HereBeDragons94
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, HereBeDragons94, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Adam and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Adam (Wiki Ed) (talk) 16:11, 15 January 2016 (UTC)
- Thank you, I'll keep practicing the basics! HereBeDragons94 (talk) 17:42, 15 January 2016 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]Hello! I am peer reviewing your article on Anita Doron.
Your article is incredibly detailed and very well-researched. I noticed you made use of a number of different resources, which is great. Each separate topic/idea flows well from one to the other, and there's quite a lot of pertinent and interesting information. Other than a few grammatical errors here and there, overall the article is written to be interesting while maintaining a fairly neutral standpoint.
I feel as though the lead could be slightly expanded on, however. Its rather short compared to the rest of the lengthy article, and perhaps could benefit from a few more sentences to properly capture the whole article.
Also, there is a lot of information, and it is neatly organized within each section into its own paragraph. While this is great, it also leads to a few facts that seem to be lost within in the article, as they are little one-liners on their own. It might be beneficial to the flow of the article to lump some of these lines in with the preceding paragraph, although I don't feel like its crucial.
For example, in her early life, the sentence about moving to Canada and going to Ryerson could easily be the lead paragraph for the following paragraph describing what Anita studied at Ryerson.
In the section about film, the two separate sentences about Mystico Fantástico! and Seven Sins: Lust could also be lumped together, as they are both little one-off facts about her career.
One other small point to note is that, generally, when quoting from a source, if you are starting the quoted sentence with an altered form of the first word, you can put the quotation marks after. For instance, using this sentence from your article as an example:
“[attending] a restorative justice process in Montreal.”[24]
In this situation, you could instead write:
attending "a restorative justice process in Montreal."[24]
Overall, however, this article is incredibly well done and very detailed. Its obvious that a lot of hard work went into this article, and I enjoyed reading it! Roothster2 (talk) 01:04, 16 March 2016 (UTC)