User talk:Hefferjd

Hello,

Welcome to Wikipedia! I'm your campus ambassador Gabe and I enjoyed talking with you yesterday about Wikipedia. I've put a few notes and helpful links, particularly about how to find images here: Education Program talk:Boston College/History of the American West (2013 Q1). Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions about editing Wikipedia. I hope you enjoy this assignment and I look forward to seeing your contributions. Best, GabrielF (talk) 17:26, 30 January 2013 (UTC)

James, you can find my draft located on the talk page for Nueces Massacre, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Nueces_massacre Stonecm (talk) 04:31, 19 March 2013 (UTC)

Charles Stone Review

[edit]VOLGA GERMANS IN CANADA

[edit]Introduction

In addition to the large population of Volga Germans that settled on the American prairie, many also settled in the Canadian West. Beginning in the early 1870s, the Canadian Government created promotional programs in Europe to entice settlers to the largely unsettled western areas, in what would become the provinces of Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, and British Columbia(I know in the U.S. case that apart from territorial land deals, steamer-ship companies and private land firms also enticed Germans to travel (that’s how a large area of my home state was settled). Did they have anything to do with it in Canada? If you can find such information, I would include “private firms” as a reason).[1]Public policy also served to attract immigration following the passage of the Land Act of 1872, which provided free grants of homesteads to those who settled on the Western Prairie.[1] In the early twentieth century, many immigrants(be specific of type) moved from the United States to Canada in search of inexpensive land, and still greater social autonomy.[2] These German-American immigrants brought not only their experience working on the American plains, but also their accrued wealth, giving a much needed boost to the economy of the Western Provinces.[1]

[edit]1875-1918

The Volga Germans(hyperlink this when you get the chance) that flocked (you know a rough number?) to Canada in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries came from different religious backgrounds including Lutheran, Catholic, and Mennonite. It was this last group, named after leader Menno Simons, that constituted the largest portion of the immigrant population. In Russia they had proven the best organized, preparing scouting parties to investigate the prospect of immigration to Canada and the United States. These scouts relied on the assistance of established Mennonite groups such as those found in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, and Ontario. In the period 1873-1879, Mennonites formed blocked settlements(insular? Communal settlements?) in Manitoba with a total of close to 7000 members. Most settled in Southern Manitoba in the richest (agriculturally? In population?) part of the Red River Valley.[3] These communities were centered around religious homogeneity, the insistence on the tenets of adult baptism, and the refusal to bear arms or swear an oath.[4] Many Mennonites decided to leave because of the introduction of extended(expanded describes increasing conscription across population, extended implies longer service) conscription, put in place in 1874, but set to take effect in Russia in 1881.(I'd reverse these two paragraphs so motives come first.)

Many Volga Germans emigrated from the United States to the Western Provinces in the period 1890-1909. They sought to escape rising land prices, and imposition of laws that began to encroach on their relative autonomy. Canada was seen as a new frontier, a place of vast land, but little settlement. These immigrants settled mainly in the colonies of St. Peter and St. Joseph, East and West (respectively) of Saskatoon in Central Saskatchewan.(So far, I haven’t felt the need for it because I think I know enough about general Canadian geography. This section, however, is crying out for a map. Most people don’t know much about Saskatchewan)[1] In the 1890s, twelve Catholic families established Rastadt-Dorf, and another twenty-one settled Katherinetal. Additional settlements were begun in Davin, Kronau, and Speyer as well.[5] (I might want to work out a better way to divide these two ideas. When you discuss Mennonites in detail for two paragraphs, its jarring to suddenly see two sentences on Volga German Catholics at the end.)

[edit]Between the World Wars (You might want to stick to date-based divisions. I get what you are trying to say, that most of the migration happened in the 1920s and 1930s, but you also talk about migration after WWII. Furthermore, you never directly use the wars for effect. I’d just make a heading like your first section and say “1918-Present day”)

In the period between World War I and World War II, conditions in Russia worsened, especially following the Revolution and the Great Famine of 1921(This feels like it needs a citation). Many Volga Germans sought to leave the USSR, but faced opposition from a government that did not wish to see so large a portion of its population leave. The Russian government imposed a fee for obtaining a passport, which led to protests as many would-be immigrants flooded the streets of Moscow.[1] Many Mennonites were eventually able to leave, and between the World Wars, over 20,000 left destined for Canada.[1](Were they able to leave because of the protests, or did the government grant them passports for another reason?) The 1920s also saw the movement of Volga Germans within Western Canada as well. Many pushed further west, settling in British Columbia. The area had the appeal of a warmer climate, an escape from the frigid prairie (I sort of wondered how best to fix this sentence. I don’t quite like the last phrase. It describes the right idea, but it’s hanging there. Maybe, “The area had the appeal of a warmer climate unlike the frigid prairie to the East” or “unlike the frigid prairie in Alberta and Saskatchewan”). Other Volga Germans were propelled by economic factors. The Great Depression impoverished many, and also coincided with a tremendous drought ushering in crop failures. (I think one more sentence concluding this economic idea would be good like “Therefore, these Germans looked to British Columbia for prosperity.”)Throughout the period following World War II, new immigrants(From farther east in Canada? From Russia? From the U.S.?) joined their families in British Columbia, congregating in the Fraeser Valley, and Vancouver Island.[6] The mid-twentieth century brought immigrants from Southern American regions as they fought to maintain their cultural autonomy in increasingly nationalist areas.[7] Lutheran and Catholic Volga Germans were also significant migrants to Canada, but lacked the organization of their Mennonite brethren. Early on, these immigrants were more likely to settle in Saskatchewan, especially around the city of Regina.[1] Despite their location near earlier Mennonite communities, (these) settlements remained religiously homogenous.(Which communities? The later Lutheran and Catholic or the Mennonite?)

[edit]Legacy

Throughout their history in the Canadian West, the Volga Germans have been able to maintain many of their cultural characteristics, including their dialect(They kept their unique language too though. It’s not just their unique English, it’s their unique German.), proliferated through Saturday schools and Canadian policies that allowed for cultural freedom. These schools operated on Saturday mornings for around three hours, and became especially vital as the German language was no longer taught in the Canadian public school system after World War I. The Mennonites, unlike most Volga Germans, were able to maintain these schools even after World War II. The dialect of the Volga Germans was also maintained through the Church(Be careful about capitalization. “The Church” is typically a phrase associated with the Catholic hierarchy. If it is a reference to the Mennonite system, you could call it their Reformed Church or Mennonite Church), especially in the Mennonite community.[8] Before the Volga Germans had left for North America, they had been regarded as privileged colonists in Russia. When they arrived in the United States and Canada they found that they were treated the same as any other Eastern European migrant group.[9] The Mennonites may be seen as an exception as they successfully used connections with their brethren in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, and Ontario.[10] Through their hard work on the North American plains, they established themselves as a productive portion of Canadian and American society.

^ a b c d e f g HEIER, EDMUND. “The Immigration of the Russo-German Catholics and Lutherans into Canada.” Canadian Slavonic Papers / Revue Canadienne Des Slavistes 4 (January 1, 1959): 160–175. doi:10.2307/40866073. ^ Peters, Victor. “Rußlanddeutsche in Der Kanadischen Präire.” Globus Spezial (n.d.): 191–192. ^ Haslam, J. H. “The Canadianization of the Immigrant Settler.” Annals of the American Academy of Political and Social Science 107 (May 1, 1923): 45–49. doi:10.2307/1014693. ^ Moelleken, Wolfgang W. “Diaphonic Correspondences in the Low German of Mennonites from the Fraser Valley, British Columbia.” Zeitschrift Für Mundartforschung 34, no. 3/4 (December 1, 1967): 240–253. doi:10.2307/40500396. ^ Anderson, Alan B. “St. Joseph’s Colony, Katherinetal Colony, Kronau-Rastadt, and Odessa (1886-1904).” German Settlements in Saskatchewan: The Origin and Development of German Catholic, Lutheran, Baptist, Mennonite, and Huttere Communities (n.d.). ^ Goerz, H. “German Russians in British Columbia, Canada,” n.d. ^ Koch, Fred C. The Volga Germans: In Russia and the Americas, from 1763 to the Present. Penn State Press, 1978. ^ Magocsi, Paul Robert. Encyclopedia of Canada’s Peoples. University of Toronto Press, 1999. ^ Kloberdanz, Timothy J. “The Volga Germans in Old Russia and in Western North America: Their Changing World View.” Anthropological Quarterly 48, no. 4 (October 1, 1975): 209–222. doi:10.2307/3316632. ^ Moelleken, Wolfgang W. “Diaphonic Correspondences in the Low German of Mennonites from the Fraser Valley, British Columbia.” Zeitschrift Für Mundartforschung 34, no. 3/4 (December 1, 1967): 240–253. doi:10.2307/40500396. Categories (++): (+)

Final Review Overall James, I give this somewhere between a 3.5, and a 3.8 (Ebert subdivides his ratings, so can I.). The article covers the basic chronology of Volga German settlement in Western Canada while also concentrating on the motivations of specific subsections of that migration. Furthermore, the article is predominantly readable, and the sources seem credible. This does not mean however, that the article is not without its shortcomings. The third paragraph (as I have indicated above) would probably make more sense coming before descriptions of how the Mennonites migrated as it provides information on motivation and settlement choice. Moreover, the article has some hanging ideas. Your description of the Catholic settlements is warranted and necessary to understand the diversity in the Volga Germans as a classification. Their location in the article is less apt as you’ve placed them immediately after long sections on the Mennonites with little transition. Similarly, the legacy paragraph has a discussion on prejudice against immigrants which in itself seems relevant, but it appears at a point in the article with no earlier description (say in the 1875-1918 section which describes settlement). I like it, but it feels misplaced. I think that once you incorporate these ideas fluidly into your already existing structure it will be a stellar article.

I do have some final points you may find useful. I noticed that throughout the art you have a predilection to the pluperfect, and occasionally you use the passive voice as well. Both of these are more acceptable in a neutral piece, like an encyclopaedia, but too much makes it difficult to read (particularly the pluperfect). I tried to correct most instances, but keep a sharp lookout. Your article also doesn’t have a lot of information on what the Volga Germans did in the West, how they adapted to the environment, or what specific cultural elements (apart from religion and language) they brought to Western Canada. Some of these things may be impossible to find given the size of the German-American (German-Canadian?) study field. You might, however, check out the Max Kade Institute website and any links they have to publications or articles. The Max Kade Institute is predominantly a U.S. organization, but it has some connections to Canadian faculty and research on Germans in that country. In conclusion, transition and hanging ideas, watch out for the pluperfect, and see about adding some more cultural aspects. Apologies if I seemed harsh. Personally, I admire the difficulties you had to go through in finding an article.

I will also send these by email so you can easily read the comments. Stonecm (talk) 23:13, 27 March 2013 (UTC)

Help us improve the Wikipedia Education Program

Hi Hefferjd! As a student editor on Wikipedia, you have a lot of valuable experience about what it's like to edit as a part of a classroom assignment. In order to help other students like you enjoy editing while contributing positively to Wikipedia, it's extremely helpful to hear from real student editors about their challenges, successes, and support needs. Please take a few minutes to answer these questions by clicking below. (Note that the responses are posted to a public wiki page.) Thanks!

Delivered on behalf of User:Sage Ross (WMF), 16:54, 10 April 2013 (UTC)