User talk:Healym24

Peer Review - Tanveer Sandhu

Hello Michael,

Good job on your article! Here is my peer review.

- How could your peer improve the lead? I would suggest having a small section on the overview of the convention. You begin your article by going straight to the happenings of the convention.

- Is the overall article structure clear? Overall, it is clear, but might I suggest more subheadings? And maybe split the paragraph in your first section, but that could just be my own style of writing.

- Is there balanced coverage of the topic? Is the tone neutral? Yes, I thought your tone was neutral and the coverage was balanced. I didn't detect any bias.

- Are the sources reliable? Good choice on sources, I see you were able to find New York Times news coverage on the topic. That's awesome you were able to find a newspaper that covered your convention. Your other sources were reliable as well.

- What proofreading or writing suggestions do you have to improve the article? I thought your article had few grammatical errors. One thing I would suggest would be separate your first section into smaller paragraphs--I think it would make the article easier to read and look more organized.

- What other things would you add or fix in the article? I liked how you put the national context of the convention into the article--of how similar conventions took place across the nation, and you described their purpose. I would probably move this portion, alongside the date and location of the convention to an overview section. The overview section could describe the date and location of the event, as well as its purpose and national context.

Otherwise great job! SandhuT (talk) 05:06, 14 March 2020 (UTC) Tanveer Sandhu

Prof. Smith comments on first draft of Wikipedia article

Hi Michael,

I agree with many of Tanveer's comments. There is a lot of good information here; you just need to polish and reorganize the article.

1) You need a shorter, more straightforward and general lead. If you look at several Wikipedia articles, you'll see that they really just state the most basic facts in the lead. I would go with something like: The 1883 Texas State Convention of Colored Men was the first (is this correct?) statewide meeting of African Americans to discuss civil rights and press for equality under the law. Then, move all the material that you currently have in the first paragraph into a new heading ("Overview" or "Origins" of the Convention).

2) I would also split out that first long paragraph into subheadings such as "debates," "Governor's intervention," etc. I would especially emphasize the address to the people of Texas at the end of the paragraph as the most (or one of the most) important outcomes of the convention (perhaps with its own heading such as "Convention Outcomes." As it stands, the paragraph seems to consist of a lot of ideas smashed together.

3) Be sure to include the required "External links" section and include a link to the Colored Conventions Project there.

4) Finally, were African American women involved in the convention at all? Our partner website, the Colored Conventions Project, really wants us to add material on women whenever possible. Please check your minutes again on this point and include information on women if possible.StaceySmithOSU (talk) 05:09, 15 March 2020 (UTC)

Douglas feedback for peer review

The only suggestion I would have to improving your lead is to add the year date in the first sentence. The overall structure of the article is a little messy, I think the discussions and outcomes should be separated from the main information. The tone is very neutral and the topics discussed are balanced. The sources included are also very reliable. I would suggest rereading your article to improve the grammar and sentence structure. The sentences contain all the pertinent information but are long and wordy. They are also missing commas/ commas where they are not necessary. I would also be careful about using 'they' when talking about multiple people, it makes it confusing to read. Other than that, I think this article is very well done, congrats!Douglmai (talk) 04:22, 14 March 2020 (UTC)Maiya Douglas — Preceding unsigned comment added by StaceySmithOSU (talk • contribs)