User talk:Hasstheboss/sandbox

Hi Julia, you guys have done a lot of research for this and that is really appreciated! It looks like you are gaining a good grasp of the maze, what it does and why--something to be proud of for sure! There are still lots of edits that need to be done to your group's contributions however. Please make sure you respond to your peer reviewers' comments and address my issues to follow. There are lots of odd phrasings and I think spending some time re-reading and evaluating your writing will be helpful. Have Maddie read yours and you read hers--to spot issues. Here are some specific things for you to fix, but please look for similar issues through both of your submissions: wording is awkward, see my changes in capital: [The EXEPERMENTERS can MANIPULATE multitude of variableS, including DELETE 'THEIR' gender, the environment DELETED TEXT, exposure to drugs, etc. PERIOD THESE [DELETED TEXT] factors MAY AFFECT spatial movement and memory]. Delete this entire intro: The apparatus and markers of the Morris Water Maze during the experiment rarely remain constant, but. Start with For Richard G. Morris....; Uncapitalize Navigation Experiment; spatial is mispelled; [the task is now expanded upon to test effects of variables--REWORDING: THE TASK HAS BEEN EXPANDED TO ASSESS DRUG AND ALCOHOL ADMINISTRATION, SOCIALIZATION EFFECTS, AGE DIFFERENCES....]; integrate the two paragraphs under pharmacological manipulation better--work with the other editor to make both contributions flow and not be redudant--since he/she opens with a comment about drugs and the maze, you needn't reiterate; [wo kinds of rats were experimented upon] TWO GROUPS OF RATS WERE USED....ONE GROUP WAS RAISED IN ISOLATION AND THE OTHER GROUP.....; THE GROUPS RAISED IN ISOLATION WERE BETTER...ETC; (talk about groups of rats, not individual rats); your age paragraph is super hard to follow--please reword or delete; "placed upon" is used throughout--please reword (see my examples where I substitute other wording for this in prior sections in both your and Maddie's talk page comments). PC Midd Intro Neuro (talk) 12:54, 4 December 2013 (UTC)