User talk:Harley Vistan
| This user is a student editor in University_of_California,_Berkeley/African_Politics_(Spring_2020) . |
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Harley Vistan, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:43, 25 February 2020 (UTC)
Annie's Peer Review
[edit]Overall, a great and thorough job so far! I like that you focus on multiple factors influencing multilingual education (research, external actors, etc) instead of only discussing the education itself. Structure is well-organized and it flows logically. A few suggestions: -I'd try reading out loud the introduction because some of the language there could be more concise. -There are a couple times you use "as we will see" or "as we can see below". I think the article's tone would be better without this use of "we" pronoun since it should be from an angle that doesn't really reflect the speaker's presence at all. -The reference to Ericka Albaugh and her article by name is something I haven't seen before in a Wikipedia article. It might be fine but it seems more common to just use "research shows..." or "scholars have found..." I also think maybe there shouldn't be a section JUST on one work by author, but on that general theory with a couple different viewpoints to make it more balanced. You could also explain a little more the implications of these actors' different preferences and how that would impact multilingual education. -It seems difficult because education in general in Africa is such a broad topic, but maybe focusing on a few case studies for specific countries would be helpful so it's clear you're not just generalizing across the whole continent. -Some general grammar and spelling errors throughout the article should be easy enough to fix by proofreading. -A couple citations could use links if you have them! I think the article so far is informative and also really closely related to my own topic, so it's really interesting to see this perspective! Good work!
Annie