User talk:GinaGuan4/sandbox

Noah Sadhwani Review

Hi Gina, this looks great! I love how detailed all of the sections are, you clearly have a great deal of knowledge in the industry. One suggestion I would make is to add a section on how the industry has been/will be impacted by COVID-19. I would also try to expand the blockchain section a bit, but other than that, the grammar and word choice looks excellent!Noah Sadhwani (talk) 12:20, 27 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Nick Allen Review

What does the article (or section) do well? - Your Wikipedia article does a good job at staying unbias. It reads as a fact driven article versus an article whose author is trying to sway the opinion of it's reader.

What changes would you suggest overall? - Overall I believe that the incorporation of photos could add to the visual appeal of your Wikipedia article. I believe it has good flow through its body. I would also change the title "Autonomous Things" I believe your title could be little more specific and less ambiguous.

What is the most important thing that the author could do to improve his/her contribution? - I believe that you could expand upon your first paragraph to give the reader a more comprehensive overview of what your article is going to be about. Did you glean anything from your classmate's work that could be applicable to your own? If so, let him/her know! - I think you did a good job at using hyperlinks to connect other wikipedia articles to your own. I did not use any in mine but believe that it does a good job tying together your wikipedia article. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Nick allen0 (talk • contribs) 18:07, 27 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Gina, this looks quite good--sources offer broad coverage and the attendant tech-focused sections are timely and appropriate subtopics to consider. One minor thing to return to as you revise is the overall structure of your subsections (in terms of paragraph length, etc.). Remember that when we read online, much of that occurs via mobile devices, so make sure your paragraphs are brief, focused on a single aspect with a topic sentence, and maintain a neutral point of view. Good work here! Amyc29 (talk) 16:08, 28 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]