User talk:Geologian/Rough Draft
Logan's Comments
[edit]John, your page seems rather complete for a rough draft. I can tell you put a lot into it, but here are a few comments I have listed below:
1). I like how you have your content map at the very beginning of your page. It makes surfing the page really quick and easy. As I read through your first paragraph I come across words that I know because I am a geologist, but if I wasn't I would not know what they mean. I like how you have a good amount of bracketed words in the first section, but it seems like as the page goes on I see less and less bracketed words. I would advise you to bracket-link many more geologic words in the later sections of your page. The linking of scientific words/topics will only help the reader to expand their understanding of your page through the ability to quickly and easily look up topics they don't know. Also, I would try to add more citations. For example, your first sentence reads, "Quartz is the most abundant mineral in the earth's crust (behind the feldspar group), and as such is present in a very large proportion of rocks both as primary crystals and as grains in sedimentary and metamorphic rocks." That seems like a pretty big blanket statement that some people I'm sure would like to see the evidence that backs that statement up.
2). Concerning your images. Are these images you created for this project or are they from another? Did you physically create these thin-sections all by yourself or did Rick help you? Just something I think you should think about. Also, if I were you, I would try to digitally trace one of your images in adobe illustrator. It is rather easy to do, and there are TONS of youtube videos that can teach you basic to more advanced techniques in illustrator. Adobe illustrator is a very powerful tool that can only add to your page. It will make your images more scientific and professional looking, while clearing them up and simplifying them. You could trace one quartzite image and leave out the color to only have the grain boundaries. Then you can simply assign the grains a specific color and substitute that in so that the reader clearly knows what grain, or grain boundary you are talking about. Just something simple you can do to help the reader understand what you are trying to explain.
3). Lastly, I like your relevant links section at the end of your page. I think that quartz recrystallization and grain boundary migration are two fairly specific and complicated topics, it's good that you provide the reader with supplemental material to help them gain a better understanding of your topic. All-in-all, good work. I can tell you put a lot of hard work into this and I'm sure it will only become more complete as the semester progresses.
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[edit]1) Those pictures look like the taos project pictures, so I almost threw up 2) If those aren't from the taos project, then I hope you didn't steal them 3) You could probably add some more to the trends part 4) I don't understand this enough to tell you if it's good or bad
Stephen Reed
It looks pretty good but I was also wondering where you got those pictures from. There is definitely enough sections that are explained very well but it would not hurt to lengthen the sections under "Trends." I don't really see any grammar mistakes and everything pretty much looks good. Good job on the draft.
Sean
More comments from Graeme
[edit]In addition to my comments at User talk:Geologian here are some comments on the text:
- I assume that the article is Dynamic quartz recrystallization.
- I suggest that you include several more references to show that the topic is notable and stands apart from dynamic recrystallization.
- sections headings should only have capital letters at the start.
- Don't put the abbreviation in the section heading, and put a space before "(".
- for Mechanisms of Recrystallization there should be a reference at the end of the paragraph. Perhaps ref 1 covers the lot, in which case you can move it to the end.
- An idea for a diagram would be a drawing of the different recrystallization forms graphed against different temperatures. This could be a hypothetical piece of quartzite exposed to different temperatures over a few millimeters so that you see all the forms on one cross section. Another one is a graph of crystal size against temperature. Also what rate does this recrystallization occur at?
- There should be a section on the application of this information. How does it affect the bulk rock properties? How has it affected research?
Graeme Bartlett (talk) 11:37, 24 October 2011 (UTC)
References
[edit]Twice in the article you reference "Stipp, M., 2002, The eastern Tonale fault zone: a 'natural laboratory' for crystal plastic deformation of quartz over a temperature range of 250 to 700°C". This is an incomplete citation. It appears that the source you want to cite is:
Stipp, Michael (2002). "The eastern Tonale fault zone: a 'natural laboratory' for crystal plastic deformation of quartz over a temperature range of 250 to 700°C" (PDF). Journal of Structural Geology. 24. Retrieved 27 October 2011. {{cite journal}}: Unknown parameter |coauthors= ignored (|author= suggested) (help)
As this article is 23 pages long, you need to cite page numbers for specific points sourced from the article. I would like to see more sources cited. My preference is to cite reliable sources for every paragraph in an article. -- Donald Albury 01:23, 27 October 2011 (UTC)