User talk:Genivee930/sandbox

Genivee's Peer Review

There is not a lead section introducing your topic. Nose piercing's are self explainable but maybe you can give a brief synopsis of the culture aspect or give some historical dates of nose piercings. Maybe when the first nose piercing was recorded. Even if it is a sentence or two at least the audience will have some sense of what you are going to talk about which means they will not go in totally blind. The structure in which you formatted both the wiki website and the subheadings is fantastic. When reading the subheading's content i was never confused and it was intriguing and eye opening to discover some history about nose piercings. If anything I would suggest adding an end sentence in which you explore the possibilities of it being the cause of conflict. (I do not know if that is the case but if you can find an article in which it states that nose piercings added to class struggle that would be interesting) Everything is neutral and it does not seem as though you favor one culture and their impact over another. Your sources come from a reliable source so there is no issue in that aspect. I think this is a solid topic and your paper is intriguing the only thing I would add is more research on the impact of nose piercings. For my article I am definitely going to see if surgical modifications has impacted culture and in what way because i think your article does a great job of explaining it. Fascinating article! Great job!