User talk:Frommetr
| This user is a student editor in University_of_Cincinnati_/English_2089_Intermediate_Composition__(Fall_) . |
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[edit]Hello, Frommetr, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 16:26, 2 October 2018 (UTC)
PEER REVIEW
[edit]1.) fix the first sentence, "Catholic sex abuse cases" is a bit wordy
2.) change "pled" to "pleaded" in first paragraph.
3.) Reported incidences since that time have dropped substantially ""[citation needed]"" and, when they occurred, been reported by the church itself.""[citation needed]""
4.) in the john jay report tab, the following information should be cleaned up in a more legible manner; maybe this information could even be better interpreted in a graph or table? ↓↓↓
"1,000 allegations had been made against 4,392 priests in the USA. This number constituted approximately 4% of the priests who had served during the period covered by the survey (1950–2002).[34] Of the abused, 81% were male, and 19% were female, 22% were younger than age 11, 51% were between the ages of 11 and 14, and 27% were between the ages of 15 and 17 years when first abused. Within the youngest age group, 64% of abused children were male, while within the older age groups, 85% were male. [34] 2,411 of the priests had a single allegation made against them, while 149 priests had 10 or more allegations made against them."
5.)"The grand jury found that Church officials followed a "playbook for concealing the truth," minimizing the abuse by using words like "inappropriate contact" instead of "rape".[37] "
very interesting point!
6.) the actions of the "handling of evidence" tab under catholic hierarchy title could use some more evidence. I was also slightly confused why the case presented under this tab pertained to the handling of evidence
7.) title "awareness of the problem" seems a little biased, maybe retitle "awareness of these occurrences"? Although I agree that it is 100% a problem, I think that a different title would be appropriate.
8.) "The thrust of the charter was the adoption of a "zero tolerance" policy for sexual abuse.[64][65]" Change the word thrust to a different word; although the intent was pure, this word could be misinterpreted in this context and should be therefore replaced to prevent any potential misconceptions.
9.) national studies tab and the John Jay Report tab both contain the same statistics and content, is there anyway to merge these two tabs to keep the page brief and concise?
Bugertll (talk) 17:12, 29 October 2018 (UTC)Lindsay Bugert 10/29/18