User talk:FawnSpirit/sandbox/Apocalypse (Durer)

Peer Review- Hi Mariana!

Your article is fantastic, neutral and balanced! You are really good and brought so much more to this Wikipedia page, bravo! It was hard finding too much to suggest, except for a few typos and sentence structure. Of course my suggestions could be completely silly to you, but at least you will have a third set of eyes on your article, besides the all-seeing Dr. Miller! I hope you're enjoying this project, you are one of the lucky ones who picked an article that had plenty of information to add to! Before I forget, your citations are great but be sure to clean up those errors in red!

Let's get started...

I would consider restructuring your lead into two paragraphs (There’s a nice break when you start speaking about how it helped Dürer find wealth etc…) and delete redundant info like “The series was probably cut on pear wood blocks…” you mention in your description the series is cut on pear wood. I rewrote a few items, nothing crazy and changed all the ü’s in Dürer to be consistent:

“The Apocalypse, properly Apocalypse with Pictures (Latin: Apocalipsis cum figuris)[1] is a famous series of fifteen woodcuts by Albrecht Dürer of scenes from the Book of Revelation, published in 1498, which rapidly brought him fame across Europe.[2] The series was probably cut on pear wood blocks[3] and drew on theological advice, particularly from Johannes Pirckheimer, the father of Dürer's friend Willibald Pirckheimer. Work on the series started during Dürer's first trip to Italy (1494–95)[4], and the set was published simultaneously as a 15 page book[5] in Latin and German at Nuremberg in 1498, at a time when much of Europe anticipated a possible Last Judgment in the year 1500[5]. Considering the 15 woodcuts, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (c. 1497–98),[6] referring to Revelation 6:1–8,[7] is often viewed as the most famous piece. The overall layout of the cycle has the illustrations on the recto (right) and the text on the verso (left). This would suggest the importance of illustration over text[4]. With Durer being the publisher and seller of this series[8], he brought in his own fame and wealth. In addition to this newfound fortune, Durer was able to free himself from the patronage-system. This presented Durer the ability to have true subject freedom and better focus on his engraving work.[9] In 1511, Dürer published the second edition of Apocalypse in a combined edition with his Life of the Virgin and Large Passion; single impressions were also produced and sold.”

Two paragraph format:

“The Apocalypse, Apocalypse with Pictures or (Latin: Apocalipsis cum figuris), from 1498 AD, is a series of fifteen woodcuts of the Book of Revelation by Albrecht Dürer. The famous series brought Dürer fame across Europe and drew on theological advice, particularly from Johannes Pirckheimer, the father of Dürer’s friend Willibald Pirckheimer. Work on the series started during Dürer’s first trip to Italy from 1494-1495 and the set was published simultaneously in 1498 at Nuremberg as a 15 page book in Latin and German; at a time when much of Europe anticipated a possible Last Judgment in the year 1500.

Considering there are 15 woodcuts, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse c. 1497–1498, referring to Revelation 6:1–8, is often viewed as the most famous part of the piece. The overall layout of the cycle has the illustrations on the recto and the text on the verso. This would suggest the importance of illustration over text. With Dürer being the publisher and seller of this series, he brought in his own fame and wealth. In addition to this newfound fortune, Dürer was able to free himself from the patronage-system. This presented Dürer the ability to have true subject freedom and better focus on his engraving work. In 1511, Dürer published the second edition of Apocalypse in a combined edition with his Life of the Virgin and Large Passion; single impressions were also produced and sold.”

In the Description section, you wrote:

“As Durer’s expression of a mature cycle after traveling to Italy, he was able to combine early ideology and biblical iconography with his artistic skill in order to create a work of art that was realistic, expressive, and practical to view”

Maybe reconsider the structure of the sentence:

“After traveling to Italy, Durer’s expression serves as a mature cycle combining early ideology and biblical iconography with his artistic skill in order to create a work of art that was realistic, expressive, and practical to view.”

In the Historical Context Section, you wrote:

“During the 1490's, there was a wide belief spread throughout Europe by Sandro Botticelli that the Last Judgement would take place within the early 16th century

“During the 1490s a wide belief permeated throughout Europe, spread by Sandro Botticelli, that the Last Judgment would take place within the early part of the 16th century.”

I think you should incorporate the date rather than putting it into parenthesis:

“When the first edition of woodcuts was published (1498), this doomsday ideology was at its peak.”

“When the first edition of woodcuts was published in 1498, the Last Judgment doomsday ideology was at its peak.”

Past and present tense are conflicting in these two sentences:

“Some scholars will accept the paradigm that Durer created these woodcuts to align with this social topic; they would believe that Durer was depicting the inevitable. Conversely, other scholars will assert that there is no realistic correlation between The Apocalypse woodcuts other than prophecies coincidently aligning with current events.”

See this suggestion:

“Some scholars accepted the paradigm that Durer created these woodcuts to align with this social topic; they believed that Durer was depicting the inevitable. Conversely, other scholars asserted that there is no realistic correlation between The Apocalypse woodcuts other than prophecies coincidently aligning with current events.”

The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse section, consider revising this sentence:

“The fourth woodcut of the Apocalypse cycle, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, depict the first four seals that are opened of the seven seals that must be opened in order for the Apocalypse to begin.”

“The fourth woodcut of the Apocalypse cycle, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, depicts the first four seals of the seven seals that are opened and must be opened in order for the Apocalypse to begin.”

Consider using a different word than Respective, can you use Corresponding? It is more typical word for the reader (in layman terms).

“Respective Corresponding to their Biblical introductions, the first four seals and four horsemen are Conquest, War, Famine, and Death.”

Consider revising this paragraph: “The final horseman, but appearing first to a sinistrodextral viewer, is Death. The fourth seal is the most distinctive horseman as he is noticeably older…” The fourth seal, appearing first to a sinistrodextral viewer, is the final horseman Death. This seal is the most distinctive horseman as he is noticeably older…”

Apocalypse-Inspired Artworks

Considered revising “Though”, it reads funny:

“Though of the same topic, Duvet creates his set utilizing his own unique engraving style. Duvet's series was fully published in 1561, with the first plate dating 6 years earlier in 1555.”

“Although its of the same topic, Duvet creates his set utilizing his own unique engraving style. Duvet's series was fully published in 1561, with the first plate dating 6 years earlier in 1555.”

Space needed:

Flemish artist Frans Masereel created his World War I series of 26 drawings The Apocalypse of Our Time (German: Die Apokalypse unserer Zeit) between 1940 and 1944.(add extra space here)Similarly to Duvet and Durer,

Fix “added” to “add” “In 1953, he would added a self-portrait to his set, bringing the page count to 26. This cycle is heavily influenced by Masereel's escape from Paris in 1940 as German troops began to occupy Southern France…”

Masereel’s Apocolypse of Our Times, times has a capital “I” right after the T,

“In 1943, Benton Spruance made a lithograph titled Riders of the Apocalypse. Much like Masereel's Apocalypse of Our TImes…”

In Spruance’s lithograph, you could put “his” instead of “this”

“In this his lithograph, the riders of the Apocalypse aren't personified…”

Consider revising this sentence:

“He also happened to draw meaning from his readings, of which included Biblical focus, saints, and other religious deities.”

“He also drew meaning from his readings, which happened to include a Biblical focus, saints and other religious deities.” Azvdo.art (talk) 00:40, 20 October 2020 (UTC)