User talk:Evanmayer1/sandbox
Peer reviews of Nuclear energy (sculpture)
[edit]Additions seem informational-- good work finding reliable sources and cool insights. Your style seems slightly more essay-ish than encyclopedic. You have a few sentences that seem kind of awkwardly phrased; just check the longer ones out and make sure they have a clear direction. All in all I think these are valuable additions, though. LinkageDis (talk) 16:58, 6 May 2017 (UTC)
Hi. A very clear and enjoyable article to read, especially since I get to learn new things about something I see every day. A few suggestions:
the first long quote (from Moore in the art journal) could do with an introduction of its author and context before the quote, rather than in parentheses after, just so the reader knows what he/she while reading it.
When you mention the dedication during the anniversary, you might mention that the time was important because it was the time of the first reaction. That's clear from context, but without saying it directly, it made me feel like I missed reading something that, as it turns out, wasn't there
at the very top, the last sentence of the introduction to the sculpture, instead of 'here' you could put "on its site" or something since you're talking about the sculpture and not the location.
Very good article!
Dstanley16 (talk) 20:19, 6 May 2017 (UTC)
Peer reviews of "Materials, construction, and aesthetics" under New mechanical devices of Scientific revolution
[edit]- I feel like this discussion doesn't really fit anywhere on Wikipedia, so if you can find a better place for it than here, let me know! I looked at places like Scientific instrument and Instrumentation or even science. Evanmayer1 (talk) 04:23, 31 May 2017 (UTC)
Peer Edits Part 2
[edit]New mechanical devices
[edit]I don’t think the sentence of introduction is necessarily mandatory.
Calculating devices
[edit]It might be good to separate the devices you mention into subsections
Additionally, a small portion of these instruments appear connected in development. You could perhaps expand on that?
Industrial machines/Telescopes/Other devices
[edit]These sections are fantastic
Overall
[edit]You use a lot of images and links, which is incredibly helpful for demonstrating the ideas of the machines and devices you are discussing. This is a really great contribution! Keep up the good work!