User talk:Emma.thornton
| This user is a student editor in University_of_Guelph/Pet_Nutrition_(Fall) . |
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[edit]Hello, Emma.thornton, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 02:27, 17 October 2017 (UTC)
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[edit]
There's a section on vegan and vegetarian diets in the cat food article: Cat_food#Vegetarian_or_vegan_food. You might want to focus on expanding that section. If you have enough material to create a "daughter" article, you can spin the section off into a new article (while leaving a summary behind in the main article.
The first step you need to do is to ensure that you have enough high-quality information to write the article. You should be looking for scholarly sources. They should deal with the topic in depth. Make sure that you are presenting information in a neutral, balanced fashion, and that you aren't giving advice to readers. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:25, 8 November 2017 (UTC)
Feedback
[edit]There are two copies of your draft on your sandbox. Which one is your final version?
- First section
If you're writing about vegan cat food, you should start with what it is. You're missing the big picture here. You're writing a lot about cat nutrition, which might belong in the cat food article, but not in the section about vegan cat food. In fact, nothing in your first section is about vegan cat food at all.
Wikipedia articles should not give advice and shouldn't speak to the reader directly. If you're using the first or second person, you're probably getting the tone wrong. For example, in this paragraph (which also lacks the table its referring to):
The nutrient chart provides a list of the many nutrients cats require as well as what the nutrients are used for in their body and the effects you'll see if they are deficient in the diet.
- Second section
This reads too much like "how to" instructions. Wikipedia does not give advice - this is one of the foundational issues for articles.
You need to make sure that the sources you're working from are about vegan cat food. You shouldn't be using sources that discuss cat nutrition in general terms, or that discuss vegan nutrient sources in other contexts. You need to focus on high-quality sources that are specifically about vegan cat food. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:53, 27 November 2017 (UTC)
Reply
[edit]I see. That makes a lot more sense. But the problem of "giving advice" still stands. The second section is especially problematic. It needs to talk about what expert sources say about the topic, not how to make the food. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:18, 28 November 2017 (UTC)