User talk:Elizba/New article

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Please review my article for VSP Vision Care. For full disclosue, this is a managed vision care company where I am employed. I have been following the instructions about what to do if you organization doesn't have an article and it was recomended to be placed on a WikiProject talk page, but none exists for this type of article so the help instant messenger chat suggested I post on Peer Review. Please let me know if it belongs some where else.

Thank you for your time and consideration. Elizba (talk) 01:09, 24 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

elizba

The problem is that peer review is for articles in article space (this is in your user space) so the peer review did not work. I will make a few comments below. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 12:04, 26 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article, here are some suggestions for improvement.

The article has no lead section. The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way. Please see WP:LEAD
Although the name is a trademark, articles do not use the ® symbol
Article needs at least one image - could you take a picture of a store / location from the outside? The firm's logo could be uploaded in small size and low resolution and used in the infoibox (as WP:FAIR USE)
Biggest problem is that the article has almost no references, and the refs it has are not inline (just external links). Per WP:CITE references come AFTER punctuation, and are usually at the end of a sentence or phrase. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
Refs should be from thrid-party independent sources as much as possible - what news stories / articles in trade journals have appeared about this firm? See WP:RS
Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
Article has many short (one or two sentence) paragraphs and sectiopns that should be combined with others or perhaps expanded to improve article flow.
There are too many external links and they do not meet WP:EL - inlcude only the most relevant links, this is not a link farm (some ELs may be able to be converted to refs)

There's a start. Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 12:21, 26 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]