User talk:Elisabethholmes
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Elisabethholmes, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Adam and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Adam (Wiki Ed) (talk) 00:45, 30 August 2016 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]You have good information but work on your wording. For example, “designed by Stanford White of McKim, Mead and White, a famous New York architectural firm at the time” is kind of confusing. It was hard to understand at first until I realized that McKim, Mead and White was the name of the firm. Maybe you should put that name after you say that it's an architectural firm. Or you could hyperlink the name to the firms Wikipedia page. Another sentence that you should word differently is “It then passed through a variety of owners and uses, including as a training and conference center for a New York insurance company and a country club”. It sounds awkward and I think it would sound better if you broke it up into two sentences. There are a few typos that you can fix (up up in the design section) and there are a few things that you can hyperlink. For example, the films you mentioned can be hyperlinked. I also think you can hyperlink some of the architecture designs you mentioned. Hyperlinks would be helpful if someone wanted to know more about the finger locked construction for example. You have good information and the article is very organized. Good Job! Sa3730a (talk) 16:12, 16 October 2016 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sa3730a (talk • contribs) 20:34, 13 October 2016 (UTC)
Response to Peer Review
[edit]Thanks for your feedback! I definitely plan to keep editing this page this weekend and next. Your comments on re-wording were especially helpful and I plan to use your ideas. I don't know if one of the films has a wiki page, so I may not be able to hyperlink that, but I'll check it out. The idea for hyperlinking to finger locking and the others is great. Thank you for your help and ideas. Elisabethholmes (talk) 15:19, 21 October 2016 (UTC)