User talk:Egray19/sandbox
feedback!
[edit]• Your page is in chronological order that makes it easy to understand and it is also pretty informative. I would say maybe put more information about her books and what they were about. Also, watch for past and present tense. I saw a few times that something was typed in present tense when you were referring to the past (that’s an error I make all the time while writing). I feel like I could grasp the perspective of the author and your point of view, which seemed pretty unbiased; everything seemed neutral. However, in the first paragraph when you are talking about how Dorothy’s fathers business didn’t make it through the depression maybe take out the word ‘unfortunately’; I feel like that is a personal word. Maybe also add titles to the article or subheadings. • The citations for the article seem like they are acceptable and well in order. Your references are very good and I see that you covered both the two external and two internal links. Every reference and link connected fits where it needs to be in the article and brings you to the right place; every statement is correctly sourced. • This article clearly shows the whole life of Dorothy Dinnerstein and anyone who did not know who she was (like me) would know just about everything after reading your article. You definitely did a good job at chronologically going through her life. I feel like the more important thing you could do to improve the article is maybe focus on her work a little more and what she stood for. Other than that, this was a very thorough and informative article! LillianSims13 (talk) 13:19, 17 March 2016 (UTC)
Bryanna Black
Arranged clearly, and easy to follow. No unnecessary information No information that is off topic Maybe, include some other opinions about the book. The article was very neutral which is good. There’s not too much focus on good or bad. But again you could include opinions on Dinnerstein’s book. No problems really with the links and sources Include more about the books. More information from the books, more reactions and critics of the books. Maybe include some differences in opinions. --Bblac28 (talk) 13:22, 17 March 2016 (UTC) Bryanna Black