User talk:Eg2619/Alzheimer's disease
Review Finished
[edit]Hi!
Just published my review on your wiki article. I copy and pasted the comments here for you to see:
The article added valuable information on the visual impairment in Alzheimer's disease, which the original wiki page didn't have.
Lead
[edit]The lead of this article is an outline of the paragraphs below. It concisely described the content of the paragraphs below, but I think it may be better to make the lead section a paragraph instead of bullet points, since that's what the instructions in Wiki suggest.
Content
[edit]I really like how the paragraphs start with the problems in the lack of attention on visual impairment in dementia to make the content important. The first two paragraphs in the article focused on dementia. While Alzheimer's disease is a type of dementia, dementia also includes other diseases, which may have different mechanisms on visual impairment. It will be nice to explain whether the visual impairments and screenings described in these paragraphs fit Alzheimer's disease.
One last thing I would change is to get rid of the negative consequences the caregivers face with dementia as it's not directly related to the disease and the caregivers of all disease may face the same consequences.
Organization
[edit]The article is well organized with an outline, but it may be better to break the main paragraphs into different subsections to be more clear. PowdersPOWPOW (talk) 17:26, 8 May 2024 (UTC)
Notification of discussion
[edit]
This article is currently being discussed at WikiProject Medicine. Please join the discussion to form a consensus on its suitability. —TechnoSquirrel69 (sigh) 05:30, 13 May 2024 (UTC)