User talk:Ecandelario/sandbox

Etny

I liked you article and how you described everything into neat sections. I liked all the details behind all the sections. There are just few minor proof reading errors, which I'm sure you will change later when its all complete. On top of your page you gave a clear definition of your disease and which made understanding your clearly. I don't know if your still working on your recent studies section, nevertheless, please expand on that section and fully describe the research done on your disease and the prognosis they have come with, or any future studies recommended by the researchers. Overall, I liked your article and it is very well written and nicely described.

lpanchal50.76.81.49 (talk) 20:23, 5 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Great job Etny!

I like your topic! The mechanism section is awesome and really in depth. The pictures are great, too! A few suggestions:

Maybe combine your opening sentence with your abstract?
In the treatment section, you have some red words highlighted. You may want to get rid of the redness.
I would expand on the recent studies section. Tell us more about the studies.

Great job with the references, I had lots of troubles with that.

Lszleszynski (talk) 15:51, 8 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Combine the abstract into the untitled portion at the beginning. Those are the same section. Wiki format does not title the abstract/intro.
Try to make your intro more approachable. Use less jargon where possible.
You're doing a good job with citations and links to other wikipedia articles. You could still add more links, but that's coming along very nicely.
I really like the way you separate out the mechanism. Try making those sections subheadings to improve structure on the page
Overall, this is coming along really well. There's a lot of great information here.

Sweiner02 (talk) 19:44, 9 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

wiki article comments

Etny, In the contents you can add sub division and you have subdivisions under Mechanisms so you can include those. You can include some more research materials in recent studies if available. Good topic selection as you have pretty much good content on mechanism, diagnosis and treatment. ShebaPrasad28 (talk) 23:54, 13 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]