User talk:Dombroski661

Welcome to Wikipedia from MelbourneStar

Hi, Dombroski661. I welcome you to Wikipedia! Thank you for all of your edits. I hope you like editing here and being part of Wikipedia! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~); when you save the page, this will turn into your name and the date. If you need help, check out Wikipedia:Questions, ask me on my talk page, or put {{helpme}} (and what you need help with) on your talk page and someone will show up very soon to answer your questions. You also might want to consider being "adopted" by an experienced user, who can show you how Wikipedia works through a program called "Adopt-a-User". Again, welcome! -- MST☆R ^{(Chat Me!)} 07:10, 11 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Ben Breedlove

Wikipedia is not a memorial so please refrain adding content to Ben Breedlove, that makes this article look like an orbituary, rather an encyclopedic-article. Thank you, -- MST☆R ^{(Chat Me!)} 07:12, 11 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Again, please stop adding content that is likely to be deemed innapropriate per WP:MEMORIAL. Please discuss further edits at the article's talk page. Thank you, -- MST☆R ^{(Chat Me!)} 07:17, 11 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I am sorry I was trying to add more information so people could better understand Breedlove.......So sorry for messing everything up

You haven't messed anything up, as it's been reverted - and you shouldn't be sorry, as you are still new here. It's great that you're contributing on Wikipedia, but maybe, a suggestion would be to start off at an article that has less traffic to it ~ and the subject hasn't died recently. Also if you need any help, please contact me, and I'll see what I can do. Regards, -- MST☆R ^{(Chat Me!)} 07:26, 11 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Well, I would feel much better if the upcoming revision is left as I really didn't change anything. I just separated the ending to Death, Aftermath & The HEARTS Act so it was separated and easier to understand...Is that ok

I submitted a revision where hardly anything was added....Is it OK? I hope so as I just separated a huge piece of information into other categories....

The section you added "Remembering Ben" is something you would see in an obituary - therefore going against Wikipedia's policy on memorials ~ also, the Hearts Act is under the section heading "Death and Aftermath - so everything Post his death is added there. -- MST☆R ^{(Chat Me!)} 07:32, 11 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The Remembering Ben Is No longer there........Can you see the revision...I submitted it like 30 seconds ago

Perfect - it works out. The Hearts Act section has been merged to Aftermath ~ however it has it's own heading. Good job! -- MST☆R ^{(Chat Me!)} 07:38, 11 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

OK Great! Thanks for Helping Me Understand This Better! I Appreciate It!

No worries :) ~ If there is anything else, talk to me! :) -- MST☆R ^{(Chat Me!)} 07:43, 11 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

OK One Last Thing...... Then Im done for now....

On the wikipedia article it says ben died while eating christmas dinner but,

On People.com on an article it says: On Christmas Day Ben got a video camera and wanted to test it out. He went out and started feeling out of breath and lightheaded so came inside, laid down and just passed out again and never came back." Breedlove's parents called 911 after they saw him pass out but efforts to revive him failed.

Can I change it to that or is that not appropriate to put?

It looks as if it's the ABC Vs. People.com ~ I'd say we get community consensus and insight on the article's here. Then, once enough users have replied, we either keep, or change. Thanks, -- MST☆R ^{(Chat Me!)} 07:55, 11 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

HI DomBroaski, In the article it says "while family was gathering for Christmas dinner", not eating it. Friends on their way to eat with them passed the ambulance. I think it would be a good idea to add in about the video camera (I also saw that article) because it was something he valued for his channels and was sadly frustrated that he was too tired to use that evening. I believe his friend Jason told of that part of Ben's story. Petersontinam (talk) 08:05, 11 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, but before we do word it in, can we do a little "practise" here ~ as in, how should we word it? -- MST☆R ^{(Chat Me!)} 08:09, 11 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry to stalk, how about something like this--

Breedlove died from cardiac arrest on the evening of Christmas Day, 2011, at his parents' home as family and friends were gathering for Christmas dinner.[4] According to Ben's school friend, Grant Hammil, Ben had received a new video camera for Christmas and was anxious to get outside and try it. Feeling ill, he began experiencing shortness of breath and light headedness. Ben then came inside to lay down and passed out. Breedlove's parents called 911 and Paramedics rushed him to the hospital, but all attempts failed to resusitate him.[2]

then just add in the proper sources... — Preceding unsigned comment added by Petersontinam (talk • contribs) 10:30, 11 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Or this using info from both articles?--

Breedlove died from cardiac arrest on the evening of Christmas Day, 2011, at his parents' home as family and friends were gathering for Christmas dinner.[4] According to Ben's school friend, Grant Hammill, Ben had received a new video camera for Christmas and was anxious to get outside and try it. Feeling ill, he began experiencing shortness of breath and light headedness. Ben then came inside to lay down, passed out, and Breedlove's parents called 911. Family friends, Pam and Mark Kohler, were on their way to the Breedlove home to share Christmas dinner with them. However, when they arrived the yard was filled with emergency vehicles. Paramedics rushed Ben to the hospital, but all resusitation attempts failed. Hamill, having spent the day with Ben just two days prior to Christmas, said that recent talks with Breedlove surprisingly were about Ben trying to comfort him; Ben reassured Hammill that he was going to be okay, and to not be sad. Petersontinam (talk) 11:00, 11 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Hmm ...the names can't bve used ~ per WP:BIO, however, I do see this having merit. BTW, where it says "According to..." and that whole sentence, I'm positive I saw a video of his sister Ally Breedlove talking to KXAN ~ about his Christmas present ~ so maybe it was Ally and not Hammill? -- MST☆R ^{(Chat Me!)} 11:05, 11 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Maybe it would be better to use both articles as mentioned above. But instead of using names maybe I can put in:

Breedlove died from cardiac arrest on the evening of Christmas Day, 2011, at his parents' home as family and friends were gathering for Christmas dinner.[4] According to Ben's school friend, he had received a new video camera for Christmas and was anxious to get outside and try it. Feeling ill, he began experiencing shortness of breath and light headedness. Ben then came inside to lay down, passed out, and Breedlove's parents called 911. Some of Ben's Family and Friends, were on their way to the Breedlove home to share Christmas dinner with them. However, when they arrived the yard was filled with emergency vehicles. Paramedics rushed Ben to the hospital, but all resuscitation attempts failed.

And this piece cant go in because it mentions names? Hamill, having spent the day with Ben just two days prior to Christmas, said that recent talks with Breedlove surprisingly were about Ben trying to comfort him; Ben reassured Hammill that he was going to be okay, and to not be sad.

Let me know what you think.....

Hey guys, here is the link to an article that mentioned the Kohlers, Mark and Pam, which includes info for reference. Kohler's quotes. I think that instead of "Some of Ben's family and friends, were on their way to...", it should say something like--"Friends of the family were on their way to the Breedlove home to share Christmas dinner with them." Also, I didn't realize that names couldn't be mentioned, thanks for informing. Petersontinam (talk) 21:03, 11 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Good Job

I like what you did to separate the HCMA part, good job. Petersontinam (talk) 07:53, 11 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks!

Looks good

Hi Dombroski, I think your addition to Ben Breedlove looks very good. Has Melbournestar checked it out yet? I am pretty new and he has much more experience. Petersontinam (talk) 04:09, 15 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]