User talk:Devon Cosgrove/sandbox
PEER REVIEW (Jessica)
I see you've added a lot of new information! I was going to say that rather than adding a section with so much information to the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder page, you could just add this information to the actual Neurofeedback page and expand their ADHD section. Then, on the ADHD page, you could provide a more condensed version of what you’ve written. However, looking at the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder page, there are many other long sections like yours.
The end of your section on neurofeedback seems to get a little off topic when talking about Ritalin.
All of the study references make me feel as if I am reading a research paper, but I know very little about Wikipedia pages, especially scientific ones haha
Most importantly though, link terms, people, concepts etc. to their Wikipedia pages and cite everything. Do you have more than one source for this information?
Overall, I'm impressed with all the research you've done! I believe everything will come together very nicely in the end.
Alex's Peer Review
[edit]Overall your draft looks great. The writing is clear and devoid of bias.
In the section in which you are unclear on how to transition you could consider just breaking off into a new paragraph. When you start discussing Ritalin is just kind of jumps out at you. Introduce Ritalin before you go into details about the effects of it.
I am most impressed that your additions felt readable. Often times when I read medical information on wikipedia I feel bogged down and its inaccessible however yours was factual and understandable.
Your sources are good too!
Awesome job!