User talk:Csong22/sandbox

Thought you did a good job focusing on medical advancements while at Hopkins and I know you will add more info in the future. Maybe explain more potentially confusing surgical inventions/methods such as the Kelly stitch. Sentence starting with "To reduce bleeding..." the tense seems off later in sentence. Maybe talk more about radiation treatment since it has relevance to current medical practices. Also the quote from Mencken at the end of 'Personal Life' could be shortened. Slu30 (talk) 22:13, 16 March 2017 (UTC)

Hey Christine/Luyi,

The article looks to be coming along really nicely in terms of content as it is really quite detailed. I liked how you described his accomplishments in the medical field and his personal life. If I might, I'd suggest a few minor edits to help with the overall layout of the article. The ordering seems to be slightly different from a regular wiki article that starts with personal life and moves on to career/accomplishments, I would have a look and that and see if the sections need to be switched around. You could also split up the section about his medical career into 1) his medical career (appointments, posts etc), and 2) his accomplishments/contributions to the field. This, if directly followed by his awards/honors and then publications would really help the article flow well. There are also a few sentences that seem to be a little out of place (e.g. Truly, he was known as a religious.../ Additionally to his extreme faith), as these sentences may appear to emphasize a little too much on some of his qualities. Other than a few grammatical/spelling errors, you could also look at the publications and see if you can try to find their full bibliographies.

https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&q=howard+kelly&btnG=&as_sdt=1%2C21&as_sdtp=

You can also look here for the old articles written by Kelly and use them for your article. Overall, great job.

Wlee74 (talk) 17:19, 26 March 2017 (UTC)

Hello! Really good job with the depth of background information and research you did, I'm impressed! Like some previous comments, I think the organization could be reworked to make it flow from one topic to another. Perhaps you could look at other reputable Wikipedia biographies for inspiration/ideas. This is also a minor addition, but you could consider adding pictures and images to supplement the information. I also think that it might be a good idea to add in the citations as you continue to edit because you have a pretty comprehensive list of sources. I really enjoyed reading this and it definitely gave me ideas and topics I should consider covering in my article. Keep up the good work! Bkim11 (talk) 04:33, 2 April 2017 (UTC)