User talk:CrescentShapedAlgae/sandbox

Overall interesting topic! In the 1st paragraph, what's the relevance of Aliivibrio fisheri? And I'm not sure about "monitor bacteria after release", release from what? I think it would be interesting to know what the sub lethal and lethal concentrations of pollution would be. Under the "distribution" heading, what sorts of marine and terrestrial environments? Overall, the page is good, maybe just switch up the order of the sub headings. --Bridge23 (talk) 05:12, 13 March 2017 (UTC)Bridget23[reply]

The article overall represents a really good draft. Sub sections all seem to make sense. There is a couple of spelling/grammar errors, but we all have that at this point. There's this little thing "Recently (more than 30 years ago) the discovery"- maybe change it to "less than 30 years ago" ? :) Another sentence- "Observing the amount of light that is given off by the bacteria and seeing how it changes do the level of pollutions"- what exactly do you mean by "do the level of pollution"? You can possibly change it to " The amount of light and it's changing pattern can be used to monitor the level of pollution"? For the mechanism section, maybe elaborate a little more on what the components of the equation are? What is FMNH2 , for instance? You also mention that bioluminescence happens only when necessary, talk about this more? What triggers it? Well, now I see that you actually talked about this in the "Role" section. It is very interesting. Overall, good content and interesting sources.Kyrolic (talk) 05:24, 15 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

For a first draft, I think this is quite well done. I found a few grammatical errors throughout your article, but those are very easy to fix. However, some information that isn't common knowledge wasn't cited, and therefore more citing needs to be done. For history, I believe a more direct focus on the history of bioluminescent bacteria would be beneficial. You talk about the luciferase enzyme and it's regulatory gene, but it is hard to piece together it's significance until the end. As well, this appears to be more of a research-based history rather than an evolutionary history; maybe be more specific as to what kind of history in the sub header? Everything else seems to be really good! I really enjoyed the symbiosis with other organisms part, where you outline the relationships with other microorganisms. Smnrana (talk) 13:35, 15 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]