User talk:Cohoward
| This user is a student editor in Wikipedia:Wiki_Ed/University_of_Utah/Gender_and_Economic_Development_in_the_Third_World_(Spring_2018) . |
INTRODUCTION
[edit]My name is Alma, I'm a junior working on my Economics degree. I enjoy time outdoors with my dog and family. I work part time at a family counseling agency and totally love it. Smajlovic1237 (talk) 22:52, 23 January 2018 (UTC) Alma Smajlovic
Hi! My name is Alison and I'm a senior studying International Studies and Economics. I live in Utah County and work as an Office Manager. Good luck with the course! Alisonyardley (talk) 19:00, 24 January 2018 (UTC)Alisonyardley
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Cohoward, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:32, 24 January 2018 (UTC)
I'm sorry, but this isn't an encyclopedia article, it's a personal essay. Really, it's the rough draft of a personal essay, at that.
I have moved it back into draft space, at Draft:Overview of inequality in Japan. Please get some advice and work on it there. --Calton | Talk 11:42, 6 April 2018 (UTC)
- Hi! Thanks Calton, for moving the content back. Cohoward, I wanted to give you some feedback on the draft.
- The lead paragraph needs to be set up more like a traditional lead paragraph. However before this is done, you need to know what the focus of the article is. While the draft title gives off the impression of a general overview of inequality in Japan, the article seems to be more specifically about gender inequality in Japan's workplace. This could probably have its own article, but I think it would be a good idea to expand this topic a bit more to cover general gender inequality in Japan as a whole. This means that the lead paragraph should start with something like this:
- Gender inequality in Japan refers to health, education, economic and political inequalities between men and women in Japan.
- I've based this on the lead sentence in the article on gender inequality in India. It wouldn't be a bad idea to use the article as an example - it doesn't have to be equal and I know that there isn't a lot of time left in the class, so it doesn't have to be as exhaustive.
- Make sure that you avoid creating original research, which would be things like claims and opinions you drew on your own based on sourcing that doesn't explicitly state the claims. On Wikipedia we can only summarize what has already been stated by others in reliable sources - we can't create new ideas. Always make sure that the claims are backed up and if needed (like opinions and controversial claims), attribute the claim to a specific person.
- The lead paragraph needs to be set up more like a traditional lead paragraph. However before this is done, you need to know what the focus of the article is. While the draft title gives off the impression of a general overview of inequality in Japan, the article seems to be more specifically about gender inequality in Japan's workplace. This could probably have its own article, but I think it would be a good idea to expand this topic a bit more to cover general gender inequality in Japan as a whole. This means that the lead paragraph should start with something like this:
- I hope that this helps! Let me know if you have any questions. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:58, 6 April 2018 (UTC)
Just so you know, it isn't actually necessary to put your signature at the end of content you add to an article. That's what we have a page history for. It should only be used to identify you on talk pages, like this one.--Auric talk 21:42, 30 April 2018 (UTC)
Thank you Auric, this has been noted.Cohoward (talk) 21:49, 30 April 2018 (UTC)