User talk:Cm363/John Konapot
Feedback from Dr. Hyde
[edit]Claire: You’ve gotten a start here on adding really important information to sections of this new article. The two key issues, now, are adding more text in general, but also citations to good, scholarly sources.
1) Lay out the structure of your article or the new chunks of an old article with an Introduction and titles for the parts you want to add or rewrite.
I can see where you are planning to go with this. Adding some section titles will be help organize the article and help you decide where to focus. You might want to divide up the “Article Body” into separate chunks, like “Early History of the Mohegan Munsee” Indigenous Communities” and “Native-English Religious Communities.” The piece that isn’t fully clear yet is why Konopot felt his people needed to choose life in this community. The quote you start with is a good one, but you need to set it up for your readers. The last paragraph reads like an intro – so maybe work on that too?
2)Added new, high-quality sources (books, articles, authoritative websites)
The footnotes in the draft I can see are not linked to anything, so I can’t see your sources. I think I rushed you this morning when you were uploading your draft. . . .If you’ve been chugging along with the stuff I suggested, I think you have a good start.
3)Written 50-60% of what you hope to add
A little thin. The key task is deciding how to lay out the history of English-Native contact (and war) in the region and how John Konopot is responding to that. You might have to decide that you can only really finish and fully footnote a couple of big sections and leave the rest for others.
4) Thinking about linking as opposed to creating too much background
Here is where you might need to consider how much background people can get from other Wikipedia articles. I think you can add links to Mohawk groups, other towns and leaders, and events in the 1730s and 1740s.
5) Started to clean up a few paragraphs
You can decide whether you want to do this on the mainspace or in your sandbox, but the clean up and fixing spelling and writing errors takes a while.
GRADE FOR DRAFT (POINTS) : 74/80