User talk:Clara.roeder/sandbox
FOR MIDTERM: — Preceding unsigned comment added by Clara.roeder (talk • contribs) 16:35, 31 May 2017 (UTC)
Provided below are some edits. I hope they help!
PARAGRAPH 1:
- The title “history of scientific understanding” feels a tad lengthy for a wikipedia article. Perhaps find a more concise way of saying the same thing?
- I don’t know if the thesis-esque introduction sentence is necessary for a wikipedia article.
- “peak popularity of a theological concept called the Great Chain of Being, “ this phrase feels a little strained. Maybe rephrase the entire sentence because there seems to be a repetition of the creationist concept reaching a heyday and that heyday being a peak of the single concept you then mention.
- Really great linking to other articles
- “an opponent of extinction.[2][4] famously denying” period should be a comma
PARAGRAPH 2:
- “that appeared unlike any living species.” How so? Or rather how can you make this statement more specific?
- “community embarked on a fascinating voyage of creative rationalization,” some of the modifiers like “fascinating” seem to be based on opinion.
- “Robert Hooke presented the impression of “ based on sentence structure later on, consider change “the impression” to “an impression”
- “and quite unlike” the word “quite” feels unnecessary
- I really like the chronological layout approach you take to the topic
- You include a variety of viewpoints
PARAGRAPH 3:
- “was a gifted geologist” like earlier, this statement feels biased.
OVERALL
Really nice article, it was informative and interesting. I thought your use of citations and links to related articles was great, and the viewpoints you emphasized were informative and comprehensive. In terms of improving the article, there are only a few places where you should be aware of potential biases, making statements more specific, and phrasing. Cmedvid (talk) 05:13, 5 May 2017 (UTC)
Thank you so much for your valuable edits. I really appreciate them! --limulus120 16:57, 5 May 2017 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Clara.roeder (talk • contribs)
Evan Mayer peer review for final
[edit]- Good work breaking down a subject with a lot of historical twists and turns, while presenting many different points of view.
- Not much to say here. It's a solid article, written in plain English, with plenty of citations, lots of inline wikipedia links, and appears impartial.
- If this new section in your sandbox will appear contiguously on the parent page together with the section above, you might want to consider breaking it down into a couple of subsections to make it a little more digestible. Maybe gradualism, uniformitarianism, etc?
- "uniformitarianism. [11]" had a tiny space after the period. I just fixed it for you.
- Looks ready for mainspace, regardless!