User talk:Choemin99
Assignment 1
[edit]I suggest keeping your article in one place only - and this should be your sandbox. The talk page on your sandbox should be not contain the article - it should be used for discussion. Likewise the talk page associated with your user page (here) should be reserved for discussion. Accordingly I deleted the copy of your article from here.
Below are a couple of additional references that may have some useful information on your fungus:
- Citation
- ^ Barron, George L. (1983). The genera of Hyphomycetes from soil (Reprint. ed.). Malabar, Fla.: Krieger. ISBN 0882750046.
- ^ Domsch, K.H. Domsch ; W. Gams ; T.-H. Anderson (1993). Compendium of soil fungi (Reprint [der Ausg. London] 1980. ed.). Eching: IHW-Verl. ISBN 3980308383.
{{cite book}}: CS1 maint: multiple names: authors list (link)
Medmyco (talk) 01:36, 21 October 2013 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]- Very informative article! I think that with a few changes it will be ready for submission!
- You should make sure that you grammar is correct. For example, in the introductory paragraph you write, "Ochroconis gallopava is a thermotelerant dematiaceous fungus which causes various infections in fowl, turkey, poults, and immunocompromized human. The infection in human have not been reported in the past, however, it first appeared in 1986." In both instances, human should be "humans,' fowl should fowls, turkey, turkeys and so forth.
- There are a few syntax and grammar errors in the second introductory paragraph. I think that this paragraph should be placed in your disease section along with the final introductory paragraph.
- Your third introductory paragraph could be under the heading 'Location' that way your introduction isn't too long.
- Your history and taxonomy section is great content wise. There were a few grammar mistakes.
- Perhaps you can add a diagnostic tests section so you can describe further characteristics of your fungus.
- It would be great if you added more information as to how your fungus contributes to the various diseases you've listed.
- I don't think that you need a diagnosis section. The paragraph there can just be added to your treatment section. However, you write there is no treatment/drugs available, but you still list a few drugs. That was a bit confusing.
- All in all, the content is there, just a few grammar corrections.Nairndan (talk) 22:09, 31 October 2013 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]Hey, thanks so much for your feedback! I know I still have a long way to go but I will definitely take your advice. I happened to look over your article too and I am really impressed! You have many important points on your fungus which provides an easy and concise summary for readers. A few suggestions that I can give you to make your article better are the following:
•There are some sentences that are a bit hard to understand ie. The infection in human have not been reported in the past, however, it first appeared in 1986; this sentence can be reworded in a much more simple way like The infection has been reported, only recently, in humans during the late 1980s.
•Also in the ‘intro’ part of your article I suggest you keep it pretty short and simple therefore under the specific headings you could actually expand on the topics ie. You spoke about the fungus infecting the lower respiratory system and the onset of symptoms but I suggest you leave out the specific symptoms and that you expand it within the body paragraphs
•Overall, seems like you’re on a good start just continue to work on your point form notes and as you suggested for me as well, images in your article will make it much better
All the best :) Osmanidi (talk) 02:38, 1 November 2013 (UTC)
Peer Review
[edit]Hey, thanks for the feedback! Best of luck with your article, it looks like it's coming along great! BrigRein (talk) 18:53, 1 November 2013 (UTC)