User talk:Chefmikesf/sandbox/Sylvia Acevedo
Updating Sylvia's Wikipedia article
[edit]I've been in touch with Girl Scouts of the USA and Sylvia Acevedo about making some general improvements to this article. It seems that the overall content is OK, but it needs some additional content, sourcing, and updates to the photos.
To start, I have a sandbox with a new suggested version that builds on the current content and adds many new sources to the article. Here is a link to the Sandbox and the difference report in comparison to the present article.
Does anyone have time to review the proposed Sandbox? I'd appreciate any feedback or additions to improve the article. Thanks!--Chefmikesf (talk) 21:56, 9 June 2020 (UTC)
Section by section proposed changes
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Lead Explanation and reasoning: 1. For the most part, the lead paragraph is the same. I have rearranged some of the content for flow, chronology, and my understanding of WP:Lead 2. I am proposing the addition of a sentence about founding the company REBA Technology and Communicard. 3. Also I streamlined the references to support all the content. 4. Until we have a more concrete reference, I don't think we should use a range of dates to speculate her age. I have done an extensive search for a citation with an exact date, but I can not find one. 1.Location: Lead Paragraph
Original content Sylvia Acevedo (born 1956 or 1957) is an American engineer, businesswoman, and executive. She was chief executive officer (CEO) of the Girl Scouts of the USA from 2016-2020. Acevedo was elected to this position in May 2017, having been interim CEO since June 2016.[1] She resigned on August 10, 2020, with the resignation effective August 15, 2020. She had been on their board of directors from 2009 to 2016.[2] In 2018, she was included in a Forbes list of "America's Top 50 Women In Tech".[3] A systems engineer by education, she has worked at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, where she was involved in Voyager 2's flyby of Jupiter in 1979.[4][5] She has also worked at Apple, Dell, and Autodesk.[6]
Sylvia Acevedo is an American engineer, businesswoman, and executive. She is Chief Executive Officer of the Girl Scouts of the USA. Ms. Acevedo was appointed permanent CEO May 2017 after serving a year as interim CEO. A systems engineer by education, she began her career at the NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, where she was on the Voyager 2 team.[7][8] She has held executive roles at Apple, Dell, and Autodesk.[9] She was a founder, with 3 others of REBA Technology, an infiniband company that was sold and also the Founder and CEO of CommuniCard. As CEO of Girl Scouts of the USA, Sylvia Acevedo led the organization’s largest release of badges, over 100 badges in STEM and Outdoors in 3 years.[10] 2.Location: Early life and education
Explanation and reasoning: 1. I have found four new references for the section's new and existing content paragraph one 2. For paragraph one, I rewritten Silvia's childhood experiences and then added content about her education's specifics based on the references. 3. I find much of the current career section cites her educational background. My proposed sandbox moves the education content to the early life and education section and clarifies its clarity. I have moved this content to the second paragraph of the section. Original content Sylvia Acevedo was born near Ellsworth Air Force Base in South Dakota. As a young child, her family moved to Las Cruces, New Mexico. She was active in her own local Brownie troop as a child, where she was encouraged to pursue her scientific interests in school, despite receiving discouragement from the school's faculty.[11] In 1979 she earned her B.S. at New Mexico State University studying industrial engineering, and would later go on to attend Stanford University, becoming one of the first Hispanic students to earn a Masters of Science at the school - in systems engineering.[12] In her memoir, "Path to the Stars," Acevedo revealed that it was stargazing on her first Brownies Girl Scout trip that ignited her interest in science.[3]
Sylvia Acevedo was born[13] near Ellsworth Air Force Base in South Dakota where her father was serving as an officer in the military. Her family moved to Las Cruces, New Mexico. She joined the Girl Scouts at age 7. [14][15] She was active in the local Brownie troop, where she was encouraged to pursue her scientific interests in school. Ms. Acevedo collected newspaper articles about the space program and built Estes model rockets from a paper-and-plastic kits.[16] In her memoir, "Path to the Stars," Ms. Acevedo stated stargazing on her first Brownies Girl Scout trip inspired her interest in science.[17] In 1979 she earned a B.S. in industrial engineering from New Mexico State University. The National GEM Consortium awarded Ms. Acevedo with the GEM Fellowship to fund her graduate school studies at Stanford University.[18] She was one of the first Hispanic students at Stanford University to earn a M.S. in systems engineering.[19]
Location: Career
Explanation and reasoning: 1. Rename 'Engineering career' to 'Career.' Sylvia's career is broader than just engineering. 2. The proposed career section is mostly new content. The existing content from the last few sentences from 'engineering career' is folded into the Career section while adding new significant content with supporting citations. 3. There are 12 new references for the section. Original content Shortly after graduating from New Mexico State University, Acevedo began working for NASA at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory as a rocket scientist, developing programs for the Voyager 2 and analyzing data from the probe. She eventually left NASA to attend graduate school. During her time at Stanford, she worked at IBM as an engineer to help pay for her tuition. After graduating, she joined Apple as a technology executive for the Asia-Pacific region.[11] She has also worked in an executive capacity for Dell and Autodesk. Under her tenure, the Girl Scouts introduced a series of badges in robotics, coding, engineering, and cybersecurity.[20]
Ms. Acevedo joined IBM in 1980 as an engineer while studying at Stanford University.[21] She was on the Solar Polar Solar Probe (SPSP) and Voyager 2 teams at the NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory.[22] She joined Apple in 1988 overseeing the Asia-Pacific region. Ms. Acevedo held other executive roles Autodesk, Dell, REBA Technologies, and Tandem Ungermann-Bass.[23] Ms. Acevedo founded Austin, TX-based CommuniCard.[24] She was awarded the Business Award by The Aguila Awards Foundation in 2005.[25] In 2009, Ms. Acevedo joined the Girl Scouts of the USA national board of directors. President Barack Obama appointed Ms. Acevedo to the Commission on Educational Excellence for Hispanics in 2011.[26] In July 2016 she was appointed interim CEO. Ms. Acevedo was appointed permanent CEO May 2017. Under her tenure, the Girl Scouts introduced over 100 badges in Outdoors and STEM badges in areas such as robotics, coding, engineering, and cybersecurity.[27] In a Crain’s New York interview, Ms. Acevedo said, “Girl Scouts has always been an important part of my life, helping me as a young girl to develop the skills to become a leader,” Ms. Acevedo said in a statement. “My focus [at GSUSA] has been to raise the profile of the Girl Scout movement and mission, with the targeted aim to grow membership.”[28] “For 108 years, Girl Scouts has been there in times of crisis and turmoil," said Ms. Acevedo in USA Today in response to the decision to sell Girl Scout cookies online due to the COVID-19 pandemic." And today, we are stepping forward with new initiatives to help girls, their families and consumers connect, explore, find comfort and take action."[29] In 2018 she was listed on Forbes’ "America's Top 50 Women In Tech".[30] In 2018, Fast Company named Ms. Acevedo one of its “100 Most Creative People in Business”. Ms. Acevedo was awarded the 2019 Hispanic Heritage Award For Leadership.[31] In 2019, InStyle named Ms. Avecedo in The Badass 50: Meet the Women Who are Changing the World.[32] Ms. Acevedo was a national board member of the Girl Scout of the USA from 2009 to 2016. Ms. Acevedo is a former board member of the Hispanic Scholarship Consortium, Con Mi Madre and the Trinity School. Ms. Acevedo served on the founding executive board of the Ann Richards School for Young Women Leaders.[33]
Location: Signification Publications
Explanation and reasoning: 1. Add new section with Sylvia's top 3 significant publications. Proposed content
2016: Harcourt Mifflin Houghton, Critical Growth Needs for English Learner Preschoolers, Sylvia Acevedo 2016: UCLA White paper: Realizing the Economic Advantages of a Multilingual Workforce, Dr. Patricia Gandara, Sylvia Acevedo References
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Section by Sections Edits
[edit]Article Edits
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1. Location: Lead Paragraph
Explanation and reasoning: 1. For the most part, the lead paragraph is the same. I have rearranged some of the content for flow, chronology, and my understanding of WP:Lead 2. I am proposing the addition of a sentence about founding the company REBA Technology and Communicard. 3. Also I streamlined the references to support all the content. 4. Until we have a more concrete reference, I don't think we should use a range of dates to speculate her age. I have done an extensive search for a citation with an exact date, but I can not find one.
Location: Lead Paragraph, sentence one
Original content: Sylvia Acevedo (born 1956 or 1957) is an American engineer, businesswoman, and executive. Proposed content: Sylvia Acevedo is an American engineer, businesswoman, and executive. 1.Location: Lead Paragraph, sentence three
Original content: Acevedo was elected to this position in May 2017, having been interim CEO since June 2016. Proposed content: Ms. Acevedo was appointed permanent CEO May 2017 after serving a year as interim CEO. 1.Location: Lead Paragraph, sentence six
Original content:In 2018, she was included in a Forbes list of "America's Top 50 Women In Tech".[1] Proposed content:Remove from lead paragraph, the content has been moved to the career section. See the Career section.
Location: Lead Paragraph, sentence seven and eight
Original content:A systems engineer by education, she has worked at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, where she was involved in Voyager 2's flyby of Jupiter in 1979.[2][3] She has also worked at Apple, Dell, and Autodesk.[4] Proposed content:A systems engineer by education, she began her career at the NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, where she was on the Voyager 2 team.[5][6] She has held executive roles at Apple, Dell, and Autodesk.[7] 1.Location: Lead Paragraph, Content addition
Original content:Content addition Proposed content:She was a founder, with 3 others of REBA Technology, an infiniband company that was sold and also the Founder and CEO of CommuniCard.[8] As CEO of Girl Scouts of the USA, Sylvia Acevedo led the organization’s largest release of badges, over 100 badges in STEM and Outdoors in 3 years.[9]
Location: Early life and education
Explanation and reasoning: 1. I have found four new references for the section's new and existing content paragraph one 2. For paragraph one, I rewritten Silvia's childhood experiences and then added content about her education's specifics based on the references. 3. I find much of the current career section cites her educational background. My proposed sandbox moves the education content to the early life and education section and clarifies its clarity. I have moved this content to the second paragraph of the section. 2.Location: Early life and education, sentence one and two
Original content:Sylvia Acevedo was born near Ellsworth Air Force Base in South Dakota. As a young child, her family moved to Las Cruces, New Mexico. Proposed content:Sylvia Acevedo was born[10] near Ellsworth Air Force Base in South Dakota where her father was serving as an officer in the military. Her family moved to Las Cruces, New Mexico. 2.Location: Early life and education, sentence three and four
Original content:She was active in her own local Brownie troop as a child, where she was encouraged to pursue her scientific interests in school, despite receiving discouragement from the school's faculty.[11] Proposed content:She joined the Girl Scouts at age 7. [12][13] She was active in the local Brownie troop, where she was encouraged to pursue her scientific interests in school. Ms. Acevedo collected newspaper articles about the space program and built Estes model rockets from a paper-and-plastic kits.[14] In her memoir, "Path to the Stars," Ms. Acevedo stated stargazing on her first Brownies Girl Scout trip inspired her interest in science.[15] 2.Location: Early life and education, sentence four, five and six
Original content: In 1979 she earned her B.S. at New Mexico State University studying industrial engineering, and would later go on to attend Stanford University, becoming one of the first Hispanic students to earn a Masters of Science at the school - in systems engineering.[16] In her memoir, "Path to the Stars," Acevedo revealed that it was stargazing on her first Brownies Girl Scout trip that ignited her interest in science.[1]
Location: Career
Explanation and reasoning: 1. Rename 'Engineering career' to 'Career.' Sylvia's career is broader than just engineering. 2. The proposed career section is mostly new content. The existing content from the last few sentences from 'engineering career' is folded into the Career section while adding new significant content with supporting citations. 3. There are 12 new references for the section. 3.Location: Career, Content additions
Original content Shortly after graduating from New Mexico State University, Acevedo began working for NASA at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory as a rocket scientist, developing programs for the Voyager 2 and analyzing data from the probe. She eventually left NASA to attend graduate school. During her time at Stanford, she worked at IBM as an engineer to help pay for her tuition. After graduating, she joined Apple as a technology executive for the Asia-Pacific region.[11] She has also worked in an executive capacity for Dell and Autodesk. Under her tenure, the Girl Scouts introduced a series of badges in robotics, coding, engineering, and cybersecurity.[19]
Ms. Acevedo joined IBM in 1980 as an engineer while studying at Stanford University.[20] She was on the Solar Polar Solar Probe (SPSP) and Voyager 2 teams at the NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory.[21] She joined Apple in 1988 overseeing the Asia-Pacific region. Ms. Acevedo held other executive roles Autodesk, Dell, REBA Technologies, and Tandem Ungermann-Bass.[22] Ms. Acevedo founded Austin, TX-based CommuniCard.[23] She was awarded the Business Award by The Aguila Awards Foundation in 2005.[24] In 2009, Ms. Acevedo joined the Girl Scouts of the USA national board of directors. President Barack Obama appointed Ms. Acevedo to the Commission on Educational Excellence for Hispanics in 2011.[25] In July 2016 she was appointed interim CEO. Ms. Acevedo was appointed permanent CEO May 2017. Under her tenure, the Girl Scouts introduced over 100 badges in Outdoors and STEM badges in areas such as robotics, coding, engineering, and cybersecurity.[26] In a Crain’s New York interview, Ms. Acevedo said, “Girl Scouts has always been an important part of my life, helping me as a young girl to develop the skills to become a leader,” Ms. Acevedo said in a statement. “My focus [at GSUSA] has been to raise the profile of the Girl Scout movement and mission, with the targeted aim to grow membership.”[27] “For 108 years, Girl Scouts has been there in times of crisis and turmoil," said Ms. Acevedo in USA Today in response to the decision to sell Girl Scout cookies online due to the COVID-19 pandemic." And today, we are stepping forward with new initiatives to help girls, their families and consumers connect, explore, find comfort and take action."[28] In 2018 she was listed on Forbes’ "America's Top 50 Women In Tech".[29] In 2018, Fast Company named Ms. Acevedo one of its “100 Most Creative People in Business”. Ms. Acevedo was awarded the 2019 Hispanic Heritage Award For Leadership.[30] In 2019, InStyle named Ms. Avecedo in The Badass 50: Meet the Women Who are Changing the World.[31] Ms. Acevedo was a national board member of the Girl Scout of the USA from 2009 to 2016. Ms. Acevedo is a former board member of the Hispanic Scholarship Consortium, Con Mi Madre and the Trinity School. Ms. Acevedo served on the founding executive board of the Ann Richards School for Young Women Leaders.[32]
Location: Signification Publications
Explanation and reasoning: 1. Add new section with Sylvia's top 3 significant publications. Proposed content
2016: Harcourt Mifflin Houghton, Critical Growth Needs for English Learner Preschoolers, Sylvia Acevedo 2016: UCLA White paper: Realizing the Economic Advantages of a Multilingual Workforce, Dr. Patricia Gandara, Sylvia Acevedo References
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