User talk:Brandonri27/sandbox

Dr. Council's responses to your questions

For Jenna: Some biographical/background material and contributions is fine. See the Editing Wikipedia for Psychology booklet for advice on writing about a specific psychologist. You can use both. Primary versus secondary sources is a problem with Wikipedia. They say you can't use primary, but psychologists define primary in a different way.
For Brandon: You will find plenty of material on Eleanor Gibson. This article is a great place to start:

Pick, H. L. (2012). Eleanor J. Gibson: Learning to perceive, perceiving to learn. In W. E. Pickren, D. A. Dewsbury, M. Wertheimer, W. E. Pickren, D. A. Dewsbury, M. Wertheimer (Eds.) , Portraits of pioneers in developmental psychology (pp. 249-260). New York, NY, US: Psychology Press.

No you don't have to start a new article. Everyone works on the same article, including others besides you and your group. There are rules of editing etiquette you will have to learn.J.R. Council (talk) 03:24, 4 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
For Justin: See my comments to Jenna. J.R. Council (talk) 03:41, 4 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Dr. Council's comments on Assignment 5

First, some general comments and responses to your questions. The references should be bunching at the bottom. That means you're doing them correctly. Please work on properly formatting your article for Wikipedia. You will need to do this eventually, and might as well start now.

I actually did want you all to be working on the three sections together, rather than each doing the three sections separately. As long as you sign, I can tell what you've done. You'll need to consolidate them.
I don't see where Justin has contributed anything.

Comments on specific sections:

To-do list: Looks good. Just consolidate into a master list.
Outline: Same thing - consolidate. I think you're covering the basics here, but you can still differentiate your outline. Adding details will make writing your lead section easier. See the handout on Editing Wikipedia articles on Psychology for how to organize an article about a psychological concept.

Also, do a proper outline, like this:

I. Main topic

A. Subtopic

1. Sub-sub topic,etc.

References: Some reference citations are not formatted properly for Wikipedia. (Others are.) As you add text later, be sure to use the drop-down menu to attach reference citations in appropriate places and format references properly.
Task commitments: I see something from Amanda, but no one else. If I'm missing something, let me know. It would be helpful to put all commitments in one place. J.R. Council (talk) 20:00, 23 March 2016 (UTC) J.R. Council (talk) 19:15, 29 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Assignment 6

Brandon-I think your lead section is very good - it was hard doing mine to not double up on a lot of what you said. We should get togather and work on formatting to make sure we're doing all of it right, I'm still a little confused on how to do some things. Also, we should work on a proper outline with the main topic, sub-topic, sub-sub topic. Jenna.leeseberg (talk) 00:41, 31 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Jenna I think you got a lot of the basic information down which is required for a lead section. We could maybe add something more about her personal life to set that up and some other more specific things to set up topics for later in the paper. There are some more things we can briefly talk about to set up for more information for sub-topics. We should get together and organize our format and outline so we can more effectively make a better lead. We will have to read the handbook on formatting and all the different styles of wiki. Brandonri27 (talk) 01:25, 31 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Dr. Council's comments on Assignment 6

Very nice! It should not be difficult at all to combine these into one good lead paragraph. See my comments on Brandon's lead in the user sandbox. J.R. Council (talk) 16:09, 6 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Dr. Council's comments on Assignment 7

Hi Group 7,
You've made a really nice start here. Just a couple of suggestions:

The second sentence about her early life is not really central to her "notability." You could cover this material in the main article.
In the third sentence, I think "with" would be a better word than "alongside."
Finally, after the sentence "This led to a new understanding of perceptual development in infants," briefly say what this new understanding involved.
I also rewrote the last sentence a little.

You're now in a good position to write the main article. J.R. Council (talk) 17:47, 12 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Dr. Council's comments on Assignment 8

Hi Brandon and Jenna, You guys have made a great start on this article! With some fairly minor changes, this should be ready for publication to the main article space. Here are my suggestions for how to further improve the article for the next assignment:

Lead: don't refer to people by their first names. Gibson, not Eleanor. The exception would be when it is necessary to spell out 'Eleanor Gibson' so as not to confuse her with her husband, James.
Biography: see my comment above on first names.
Legacy timeline: "alongside Richard Walk" is a clumsy construction. You have her being elected as a fellow of AAAS in both 1971 and 1977.
Research: Retitle "Representative Research." Just do a brief summary of the research studies you describe. This has too much detail, especially since you can link to other articles on these topics.
In general, edit for typos and grammar.

After you make these changes, I'll notify Ian and he can look over your article, suggest further changes, and clear you for publication. J.R. Council (talk) 17:31, 20 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback

Very nice work on your article draft. I made a few formatting edits in keeping with the Wikipedia style manual (e.g., section headers aren't supposed to include links). My only real suggestion would be add some more sources to the Visual cliff section - the first paragraph has no references, and the second one includes two sentences after the last sentence. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 22:26, 28 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I agree, nice work on this! Please make the changes Ian suggests above. Let me know when you do, and then it's time to publish. Be sure to follow the instructions that follow Assignment 9 for moving the article to main space. J.R. Council (talk) 20:54, 3 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]