User talk:Barry Scudder-Davis/sandbox

Hi I am Sofia! I pasted my peer review below. Well done!

What does the article (or section) do well? I think you chose a very interesting and challenging topic to write about. Your topic requires a lot of detail and accuracy and I think you managed it very well. Your writing is very concise and direct which is exactly what you needed for the chosen topic. I also did not know a lot about the topic but even without clicking on the link to the “main” article you added to, I was able to understand what you were saying. You did a good job at explaining.

What changes would you suggest overall? It is clear you had a lot to add to the wiki article you found. Your article “section” is very extensive and although that is a good thing, I would break it down so it is not so dense. For someone who does not know a lot about your subject, sometimes it was hard to follow. There are too many ideas and facts in one huge chunk of writing and it can get overwhelming. I think you can easily divide your article section into a few smaller sections (for example, you can make the provisions like “Section 951, Section 952, etc into different little sections).

What is the most important thing that the author could do to improve his/her contribution? I am not too sure if you are done with the “works cited” part of your article but you have A LOT of information and you seem to get it from one main source, the Harvard law source. Although I’m sure the source is reliable and accurate, I would suggest maybe finding other sources that back up your ideas as well. The variety of sources, the more comfortable readers will feel especially about an important topic like this one! Did you glean anything from your classmate's work that could be applicable to your own? If so, let him/her know! My topic was very different and unfortunately does not overlap with my classmate’s work but I did learn a lot about the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer act. I had never heard of it before and it was interesting reading about it. Smasseroli (talk) 13:28, 7 November 2016 (UTC)