User talk:Ayden3a
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Ayden3a, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:03, 7 September 2017 (UTC)
Notes
[edit]Hi, I wanted to give you some notes on your draft. By large the section is good - my main concern is that the section seems to be written more like a persuasive essay at times than an encyclopedia article. Be careful with sourcing, as you need to make sure that the claims in the article are explicitly made in the source material, as this would otherwise be seen as original research, which should not be on Wikipedia. Remember - we can only include claims that have already been made and ideally these claims should not rely on primary material written by the organization itself. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 16:51, 9 October 2017 (UTC)
Notes 2
[edit]I'm also going to ping Rbernert and Munaa12, as they're involved with this project.
I saw the note that Mcassell04 left on your page and I have to echo his concerns that this is too general. The idea is good, however I think that this needs to be summarized more to be more specific, as it repeats a lot of information that's already in the article. I've started whittling down some information, as we want to avoid restating content that's already in the article in another section. It looks like this does center on two areas - funding and legal issues, so I've created two sections on this to start with. It's a good idea that you have information about funding, as I don't think that this is really clearly stated in the article anywhere and they don't have a section specifically for this. You can selectively add things into these sections, but remember to be careful about redundancy - for example, the article already has a section about its history so there's no need for anything about this. You can, however, briefly summarize FNB's overall legal issues in the legal section. You could probably move these two sections to the article and work on them from there - which may be good since you would have a better idea of what's already in the article.
Just be careful about original research - the sourcing has to explicitly state the claims in the article, which is why the two sections I made were as slim as they were - I wasn't sure how much was actually stated in the sourcing. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:23, 27 October 2017 (UTC)
Notes 3
[edit]Hey, thanks for your insight. But, we already chose to go a different way with our draft that better fit in with our project goals. Thanks for your notes and we'll keep it in mind as we strive to write better information. As well, we will be sure to check our citations to make sure that we are accurately citing our sources.