User talk:Awalcant/sandbox

Hello Alex,

I am looking forward to reading your entry in this sandbox.Ctysick (talk) 14:42, 11 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Over the next few weeks I shall be editing the content of the page "screen time" for my college seminar project. I ask that you refrain from deleting my work until December but constructive criticism and edits are acceptable.

My plans for the future of the "screen time" page are to first edit and organize the section called "screen time and children" then I plan on creating more sub sections for long term effects, effects on attention span, and physical effects of high screen time. For all of this I will be siting several information sources most likely found through the university at buffalo's library website.Awalcant (talk) 16:45, 25 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

This article provides a good connection between screen time with sleep disturbance and the impact is has on a child and obesity. From this review, the statistics were impressing and at the same time concerning with the increasing use of screen time among children and adults. The phrase, " too much screen time can affect a child's health," described the subject in a clear way because it provided the topic of of the subject and the cause and effect all in one sentence. Although, I would suggest to re-word some sentences such as the last sentence in the second paragraph and add a sentence or two about the statistics related to screen time and obesity if you can find one. The most important thing that you can do to improve this article is to add a sentence about the average amount of sleep a child gets to compare with the amount of screen time and how it is making their sleep time decrease. Niphapone Chisouvanh (talk) 20:04, 9 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The article illustrated a great overview about the how screen time leads to sleep disturbance. Data about screen time effect on the children had shown with statistics and link it to the economic way of a family. The ownership of technology was proportional to the economic status of a family, however, the author mentioned about "those kids they will use said technology more frequent than the kids of higher status" I suggest this part should be supported with statistics. I also suggest the author develop into the section about the impact of screen time on kid beside obesity. Obesity could be improved with supporting data. Mei0908 (talk) 02:48, 11 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]

you need to have the full citation at the bottom. you are merely citing the ub proxy server. i need full journal citation with author, name of article, name of journal, volume and pages. please update. what article in wikipedia is this attaching to or is it a separate stand alone?Ctysick (talk) 15:37, 29 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]