User talk:AudraCharlee/sandbox
Peer review
[edit]Hi Audra, I looked over your revisions to the Feminism in Chile (it appears that your contributions start at: "During Pinochet's dictatorship..." correct?) and overall it's a solid contribution! The tone fits well for a Wikipedia article, and it's placed appropriately in the article for the timeframe you are discussing. I do not have any suggestions as far as the content, because it seems appropriate and you have all the necessary citation, my only suggestions are with wording to improve the flow.
My suggestions are as follows:
- Change the following sentence: "Because political movements, mostly male-dominated, were oppressed nearly out of existence during the dictatorship, women gathered in a political manner outside of what was traditionally male."
My suggestion: "While the primarily male-dominated political movements were largely suppressed by the dictatorship, women started to gather independently to discuss political matters."
- Small pleonasm in this sentence: "However, political representation of feminist goals are for the most part, in the time being, attempted through Concertación which is the leftist party working toward human rights issues."
My suggestion: "Currently, the political representation of feminist goals in Chile are being represented by the leftist human rights party Concertación."
That last suggestion is nitpicky, and neither of my suggestions pertain to the content itself, just in how it's worded. Take my suggestions with a grain of salt though, over all great work! -- N.reese (talk) 04:06, 3 December 2016 (UTC)