User talk:AllieQuinn7/sandbox

Peer Review Suggestions (MKassmeier)

Hi AllieQuinn7! I think your plan to add a youth section within Human Trafficking in Georgia will definitely provide a global youth perspective. You have already included a lot of significant research, but right now the tone of your article draft reads more like an essay or journal rather than an encyclopedia. It is hard to write in an encyclopedic style (especially if you care about the topic!) but I would reread your article before next Friday to eliminate phrases and words that make it appear as if you are trying to persuade the reader. The information you have already provided is quite dense--maybe consider breaking your draft into subsections as you continue to elaborate upon your topic? Currently, you have great sources but they are not cited correctly within the draft. Your article also is not hyperlinked to any other articles in Wikipedia. Here are some additional sources you may want to include:

http://www.handsacrosstheworldmn.org/resources/Human+Trafficking+Statistics.pdf

http://www.humantrafficking.org/organizations/354

Looking forward to reading the next draft of your article! MKassmeier (talk) 20:16, 27 April 2013 (UTC)