User talk:Allie1414/interculturalism

Review notes…

Enjoying this article expansion on an important topic that is being pursued in multiple arenas. Some comments and suggestions…

In your definition section, you cite two visible Western scholars, though I wonder whether either of them are inspiration or citation for the major transnational efforts around this term.
Interculturalism in constitutions has a literature. See for example,
- [1]
- [2]
- Piciocchi, Cinzia (2015). "From strategies to Constitutions. Identity, Multiculturalism and Interculturalism as Legal values: A Comparison between Europe and the Andean Countries". Revista general de derecho público comparado (17): 2. ISSN 1988-5091. Retrieved 2022-04-19.
- Schavelzon, Salvador (2012). El nacimiento del estado plurinacional de Bolivia: Etnografía de una Asamblea Constituyente. La Paz, Bolivia: Plural. ISBN 978-99954-1-487-0.
I'm imagining a general reader not necessarily knowing what "indigenous health systems" means.
Also the structural violence sentence feels outside encyclopedic style in the way it introduces a term, that feels more like an essay. Try saying the next sentence first: "to treat indigenous knowledge … with the same respect." Then state (or cite others arguing) that "It seeks to redress the lack of available and culturally relevant health care, something that health advocates like Paul Farmer have labeled as a form of structural violence." (does that difference make sense?) Some other similar flips may be in order.
For similar reasons, Wikipedia articles tend to include fact-focused paragraphs ("Intercultural health projects often involve…" before evaluative paragraphs, always making sure the latter attribute opnions to specific authors.
Cultural competency paragraph reads well, through last sentence should be attributed. "They argue…" or factual backing in a citation.
Skip Buen Vivir, likely. <— Let me explain; discussion over whether BV is truly intercultural belongs in its article, not this one. —Carwil (talk) 22:44, 19 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you, Carwil! This is all extremely helpful. I will integrate the new resources and adjust the writing to make sure it strikes the right tone. Allie1414 (talk) 18:29, 22 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

A question about the first two resources: do you think they fit better in the overall definition of interculturalism or in the intercultural health section in particular? Allie1414 (talk) 18:34, 22 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Review

Initial comments: This is a solid article so far. You explain interculturalism and its important contributors well! I think your sections on its reception and health applications are your strongest sections. The Law section does need to be expanded where you note you are still editing. Fort the definition section, I think you could add a sentence or two more on Rappaport's contribution to interculturalism. I'll give the article another read and give more comments. ArcheoAguila (talk) 21:39, 23 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

edit suggestion: the sentence that starts with Salman Cheeman is very long. Needs to be split up. Also I think you could combine the Usage and Law Sections together. It could be under Adoption in policy and law or maybe as Applications by Institutions? Article looks good! ArcheoAguila (talk) 03:13, 25 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I've posted my Peer Review through the WikiEdu course platform as a separate page! Link here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Allie1414/Interculturalism/Bioarchaeo_Peer_Review Bioarchaeo (talk) 17:34, 29 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]