User talk:Aleman1993

This user is a student editor in Wikipedia:Wiki_Ed/California_State_University,_East_Bay/Medical_Humanities_(Fall_2017).
Student assignments should always be carried out using a course page set up by the instructor. It is usually best to develop assignments in your sandbox. After evaluation, the additions may go on to become a Wikipedia article or be published in an existing article.

Introduction

Hi,

This is Tammy. I'm one one your classmates for HSC 3720 Medical Humanities. I hope to work well with you. --Tammykchao (talk) 23:38, 19 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Welcome!

Hello, Aleman1993, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:17, 22 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Caja article

Nice job on the edits you are proposing to the Caja article. I'd double check to make sure that the references you are planning to use are reliable ones. Professorsmith (talk) 19:12, 21 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I saw you made a few more edits on the Caja talk page inquiring about reliablity. Is that directed to me? If so, you shouldn't use the article talk page for that. Instead, you can use my talk page or can contact me through class / office hours. Professorsmith (talk) 20:47, 21 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Editing the "Oakland, California" article

Hi! My name is Smita I am also in Dr. Smith's class. I see that you are also planning on editing the Oakland article. I just added my plan to the talk page of the article and saw yours above it. I think we have a lot of the same ideas, do you want to work together to edit? The link to my talk page is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Ssahay2/sandbox. Feel free to respond to me here or there! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ssahay2 (talk • contribs) 06:07, 9 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, that sounds great!Aleman1993 (talk) 02:44, 12 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Hey! I completed my final work and moved it to the Oakland Wikipedia article. It is the subsection titled "Bubonic plague in the first decade" under "1900-1950" under "History". I added specific details on my process in my sandbox. I also left a brief description under Oakland talk page. If you have any suggestions let me know! Just want to make sure we didn't add the same stuff twice. I'm about to go through the final checklist. Thanks! Ssahay2 (talk) 01:36, 25 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Rohan's Peer Review

Hi Aleman,

You did good job on edit part. One thing I would like to point you out is that you should have added he was Czechoslovakian- American born. I would like to see his family back ground more. There is not much information about his childhood and family background. You should also have provided link to his performance when you mentioned post-apocalyptic deconstructive drag. I am saying this because when reader reads it and they might not know about it. If you provided link prior to it then they will be able to understand more. Also, when you wrote about his artistic evolving, its very confusing and not going smoothly. You could do better job on it by organizing and going thoroughly.Rmaharjan7cl7yp (talk) 07:36, 10 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Respond to your peer review

Hello Rohan, Thank you for reviewing my work. Yes, adding his nationality seems like a good idea, but I didn't add it because I primarily focused on things that were relevant to AIDS. I did not edit anything about "post-apocalyptic deconstructive drag", so you probably confused that with someone else's edits. Your insights allowed me to realize what users expect to see in such articles. Aleman1993 (talk) 23:28, 10 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Aleman1993 Thank you aleman for clarifying. That makes reasonable sense. Rmaharjan7cl7yp (talk) 01:57, 19 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Plague Article

Your proposed edits to the Oakland article are a great start! Did you find sources that discussed the development of the Chinatown in Oakland? Was it existing at the same time as the plague outbreaks in San Francisco? Also, be sure that your discussions of Alameda County health facilities are historical. What were the health facilities at the time of the plague? What was going on in Oakland at the time of the plague? Professorsmith (talk) 14:56, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Professorsmith can you suggest any sources that may describe the Oakland plague in greater detail? I did find some sources addressing the plague in Oakland, but it seems like there is not enough information about the disease in Oakland. I even consulted this issue with the librarians and they noticed the same thing as well, so they directed me to sources about the San Francisco Plague.Aleman1993 (talk) 00:13, 17 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I don't have anything in mind off hand. Your updates to Oakland can rely heavily on the Risse material. You may, if you have time and access, consider access newspapers or other sources from that period. Fundamentally, if you rely on Risse alone that will be a great improvement to the article. Professorsmith (talk) 15:35, 18 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the suggestions, I will continue searching.Aleman1993 (talk) 23:47, 28 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback

Nice work. Some things to fix

1850s not 1850's (apostrophes shouldn't be used for plurals)
Only capitalize proper nouns (so gold, plague)
"Since the Chinese were struggling financially in China, they migrated to Oakland in an effort to provide for their families in China" - China in the 1850s was plagued by war (e.g., the First Opium War, the Second Opium War), rebellion (e.g. the Taiping Rebellion), famine, unrest, oppressive rule...
I'd say mention the bigger issues (discrimination) first and the more specific one (fires...so arson?) second
Yersinia pestis should be italicized (and linked, if it's the first mention in the article)
Copy-edit your work. You have several missing spaces between sentences

Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk)

Thank you for the suggestions, I will make sure to take that into considerationAleman1993 (talk) 23:46, 28 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Plague hospitals

This is a difficult one, because Wikipedia articles are supposed to work based on sources that make the connections already. We aren't supposed to make new connections or draw novel conclusions. However, you're actually working on a section about the history of Oakland, so it would be reasonable to write about medical facilities in the first half of the 20th century.

As an aside, I noticed that one of your references, current #25 in the article, goes to "http://proxylib.csueastbay.edu/login?url=https://search-proquest-com.proxylib.csueastbay.edu/docview/103474660?accountid=28458". Since that's routed through your university's proxy server, readers have no way of knowing what the actual source is. If your source have a DOI or ISBN, you can use the cite tool to automatically generate the ref. If not, you can pick the "manual" option and enter the reference info yourself. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 20:20, 30 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]