User talk:Aklei14/sandbox

Aklei14 Overall very good-job! Here are my few comments!- They don’t have any cites within paragraphs - First paragraph, first sentence… don’t forget to put that date - 2nd paragraph, 2nd to last sentence- be more specific and not just “things we see”; maybe cancel out “we” - 2nd paragraph 2nd sentence- really long - 2nd paragraph,last sentence- reword- is lack the right word for that spot? - 3rd paragraph- 3rd sentence – who is “their” - last paragraph talking about fast food and promiscuous give an example possibly - thought it was well written - stayed on topic - interesting - they have citations (3) at the bottom but no links or specific cites in the paragraphs - overall goodjob! Ccrain3 (talk) 13:19, 27 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Aklei14 Great article just a few errors, I would ad some more citations throughout the whole article. ONLY first 2 Paragraphs Clear Structure: • Nice layout • No I, or You present • I do not see a grey area between you and your point. • Maybe tell the reader what sexism and sexist terms mean? • Say a specific time rather than decades ago. Neutral Contact: • I feel like you’re a little biased in your writing, you might want to review that and check your language. • Try to find a source for almost every sentence that you have written Balanced Coverage: • Add a source for your Carl’s Jr. (notice a period) ads section if not it can be biased, watch your language Reliable Sources: • Add more sources for where you found your information, like the cleaning bottles, culture intrigued by sex, how do you know that commercials now days would be considered pornography decades ago (say back in the 50’s or a specific time) • Need more sources throughout the whole article there should be a source for almost every sentence • Wrong citation for the assignment, look up how to properly cite articles Ccrain3 (talk) 13:22, 27 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]