User talk:AedanHopper/Natives Land Act, 1913

Peer Review

This is an interesting topic and I enjoyed learning more about it, I hope my suggestions are helpful and I'll try my best to organize them below:

Grammar/ Structure

There are a lot of quotations (especially in the beginning) that are distracting from the content. By quotations I do not mean cited work, just random words in quotes

I would consider adding a history subsection because I got a bit confused on what is happening

The citations are done differently throughout, I think they should be after the period and not before

There are some grammar errors here and there, but I tried to edit some minimal ones as I went through

General

I suggest a stronger introduction, I'm not sure if an encyclopedia should be quoted in a Wikipedia article

Consider better and more varied word choice throughout. There is a bit too much use of the word "native" and terms like "the white/black people" seem too informal

As a reader, the paragraph under the "Social Economic Impact" heading is hard to follow, I would reorganize it

The second paragraph under "Responses" begins awkwardly and does not have any citation

The final paragraph under responses does not read academically, I just think a change of word choice would be better

I made a few minor edits as I went through, I hope they were helpful DivineIrakiza (talk) 04:08, 5 November 2023 (UTC)