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Dr. Weiner - Comments

[edit]
  • You have a lot of good information here! Once you have it properly organized, you will be well on your way.
  • Edit in the original material. Don't add a new thing below it. Incorporate the material that is already there!
  • Abstract should not have a header. It's just the part at the top.
  • Link HEAVILY to other wikipedia pages. The first time you use a term, it should be linked.
  • Every piece of information needs a citation. If you took all the info in a paragraph from one place you can just cite at the end of the paragraph, but nothing longer than a paragraph should be uncited.
  • Sources need to be cited using wikipedia's citaton manager.
  • Links to sources outside wikipedia should be formatted through wikipedia's links and given descriptive text, not just left as links.
  • The abstract that is already present is more appropriate than what you did. Leave it and add as necessary.
  • Don't break up your sections by rubric details unless that actually makes sense. Let it be clear and flow naturally, or break it up by clear, non-repetitive subheadings when appropriate. The rubric chunks are rarely good choices.
  • Don't repeat the same information in different sections unless it really matches the focus.
  • There is stuff in signs and symptoms that really doesn't belong there.
  • When you use subheadings, use the wikipedia system to make them subheadings so they show up on the outline.
  • This feels very disorganized. Information is repeated in multiple sections and is in places that it doesn't belong. The structure is hard to follow.
  • You should be able to find images on wikimedia for some of the symptoms and pathophysiology stuff.
  • Pathophysiology should be paragraph form and step through the details of what happens.
  • The path theories need much more explanation.
  • Don't use case studies in recent research when there are good recent medical studies! Case studies are a last resort if there is nothing better!
  • Don't use primary sources outside the recent research section unless the information can't be found elsewhere.

Sweiner02 (talk) 05:12, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]