User talk:Abigail Payne
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Abigail Payne, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Adam and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Adam (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:34, 16 October 2016 (UTC)
Missing citation
[edit]I noticed that this following quote was not cited within the article: "As always, the band profited from the musical interplay between Tony Fredianelli, Stephan Jenkins, Arion Salazar and Brad Hargreaves." Abigail Payne (talk) 18:48, 25 October 2016 (UTC)
Neutral claims
[edit]This article references albums following the first as being "not received well", rather than saying they were not as successful. Abigail Payne (talk) 19:43, 25 October 2016 (UTC)
Peer Review on Violence Against Women in Guatemala Article
[edit]Your addition of information on mob violence certainly helps paint a fuller picture of the violence taking place in Guatemala. It's important that mob violence be explained as a main source of this violence, including violence against women.
One suggestion I have is to take out the information that has already been stated elsewhere in the article. Overall, the article has a lot of repeated information, so taking out the bits you contributed would add to the article's clarity and specificity.
Adding information about specific instances of mob violence against females would be valuable for the article. The paragraphs you added were mainly about mob violence in general, which certainly gives important context, but information more specifically related to female violence should be included.
Also, there doesn't seem to be a cited source in the second paragraph that refers to the 16-year-old girl beaten. Though that may not have been information you initially added yourself, it would help the overall reliability of the section if a scholarly source were provided. The example itself is interesting, too, because it mentions a "Guatemalan lynch mob," which has a different meaning than the mob (or gang) violence that the section is referring to. Maybe a different example can be found to replace that, so readers are clear on what is meant by "mob violence."
Overall, the addition of information mob violence is certainly an important aspect of the subject that should be expanded to match the slightly more developed sections of the article. Kudos to you for choosing one of the less developed sections to add valuable information to it!