User talk:16912 Rhiannon/Aubrey McClendon

Hi User 16912 Rhiannon,

Thanks for your patience. I'm late with these comments, but I hope they will still be useful.

I'm unfamiliar with Holly Hall, where McClendon got part of his education. I suspect many other readers know nothing about this school, and there is no description for it in Wikipedia. I'd suggest converting the sentence about the Alumni Association award to a footnote and cited in the "Early life and education" section. That would clarify the relative importance of the award.

The article states that McClendon has contributed to the boy scouts. If you mean the Boy Scouts of America, the term should be capitalized. Does Arcadia Farm belong to McClendon?

The article states that McClendon's fund owned a stake and was a member of the Board of Directors in 2008. in ProCare. The ProCare article says only that 4 proton treatment centers are planned. Is this still current? Has Procare put any of these into service?

I think you've produced a really good article in its current version. I hope Mr. McClendon or one of his companies will furnish a photo of him that is in the public domain. Bruin2 (talk) 15:54, 20 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Bruin2, thanks for these notes! Good news on the image: I've just added a photo that AELP have provided and am having the photographer send in a release email to confirm it's released under CC-BY-3.0. Re: your other questions:

For Heritage Hall, I'd love to clarify exactly what you have in mind for the Alumni Award. Are you thinking that the detail should be incorporated into the Early life and education section as an additional detail there? Or that it should be a literal footnote and appear in a Notes section at the end of the article? I've not done the latter before, but I'm sure I can work it out!
Yes, it should be Boy Scouts of America, I've fixed this and added a wikilink. Also clarified the wording re: Arcadia Farm to note that it is Mr. McClendon's property.
I'm not very familiar with ProCure except for being aware that Mr. McClendon is an investor and member of its board, but I did find and add a more recent citation (from 2013), which confirms that the company does have four centers, suggesting all four are in service.

Let me know what you think about Heritage Hall. Thanks again, 16912 Rhiannon (Talk · COI) 20:43, 20 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hi 16912_Rhiannon,

I like your latest modifications to the Aubrey McClendon article.
Rereading the Bushey article, I paid closer attention to the reporting that ProCure had to sell out its interest in the Warrenville, IL proton treatment facility to its partner because McClendon missed paying interest due on the money he borrowed for the project. That sounds pretty serious, so I took the liberty of adding a footnote to your article. The source hints that the buyout may have had further repercussions, such as threatening the financial stability of either Cadence or the hospital, but did not explain further. Do you know whether McClendon continues to be a director of ProCure?

My earlier comment about the Heritage Hall Distinguished Alumni award is relatively unimportant. Perhaps I discounted its significance too much.

Bruin2 (talk) 15:27, 22 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Bruin2, apologies for my delay in getting back to you: I wanted to check in with Mr McClendon's team to ask them about ProCure. As far as we're all aware, Mr. McClendon wasn't the one who missed paying interest due on money borrowed for the project. Looking back at the Crain's article I'd added as a source, it says (with my emphasis), "The buyout comes after ProCure, which offers a much-hyped alternative to traditional radiation therapy, missed a $3.6 million interest payment in December, creating a risk of default."

Although Mr. McClendon is an investor in the company and is a director, it was not he personally who missed the payment, nor do I see anything in coverage that suggests he was significantly involved in this issue. Looking around some more on ProCure, I'm thinking it might be best to update the wording to say that the company has three centers, per this article I just found from 2014, and remove the footnote. What do you think? 16912 Rhiannon (Talk · COI) 13:57, 29 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

PS: There's been a little more news coverage of Mr. McClendon recently, so I'm reviewing that to see if there's anything major that should be included in the article. I'll ping back here once I've looked carefully at that and made any updates needed. 16912 Rhiannon (Talk · COI) 14:06, 29 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Bruin2, I've just updated the draft to reflect that there are now only three ProCure treatment centers and to remove Mr. McClendon's role as a director: although an early source mentioned that Mr. McClendon held a role on the company's board, he does not now and recent sources don't make mention of that role. I'd misunderstood that point in discussion with his team and they just clarified for me this week. I've also added in an update regarding the suit brought by Chesapeake. With these adjustments, is the draft ready to be moved into the live article or do you have any further questions or edits? Thanks so much again for your reviews so far! 16912 Rhiannon (Talk · COI) 13:45, 12 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hi User:16912_Rhiannon,

Your adjustments to your article look good to me. I'd recommend that you go ahead and move the article to the main space. It's been a pleasure working with you on this. I,m willing to help you again sometime, if you have another such project. Bruin2 (talk) 03:17, 14 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Awesome, Bruin2! I appreciate your review and offer for future help. For this article, would you mind making the edits to move this draft into main space? I follow the "bright line" proposed by Jimbo Wales and don't edit articles directly where I have a COI, so I'd rather not move this myself. I prefer to have an uninvolved editor such as yourself review and then make the edits that you feel appropriate. I appreciate your final bit of help with this. Thanks!

PS: Apologies for my delay in getting back to you, I was away last week. 16912 Rhiannon (Talk · COI) 16:46, 22 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, User:16912_Rhiannon,

I don't see anything that needs to be corrected. I suggest you ask one of the Wikipedia Administrators to help upload your article. I am not an administrator, so I don't believe I have the privilege to remove the original article, since I am not the original author. The old version needs to be deleted before the system will accept a new one with the same title, plus removing the article probably delete the associated pages (Talk and History). Doing a cut and paste probably would work, but in my opinion there's a bigger risk of making a mistake, which I certainly don't want to do. Bruin2 (talk) 21:15, 26 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hey Bruin2, I think there might be some confusion here about what I'm asking you to do. I don't think the original article should be deleted, that would mean edit history to date would be lost. Instead, I'm proposing this new draft be used to update that existing article. Essentially, what needs to happen is to have this draft pasted over the current version. No admin privileges needed! Based on your review, it sounded like you were comfortable that my draft covers all the material and isn't problematic from a POV perspective, so I was wondering if you'd make that edit to move the draft live? If you're suggesting that a histmerge might be more appropriate (where my draft is merged into the live article, edit history and all), I can certainly ask someone about that. Let me know! 16912 Rhiannon (Talk · COI) 21:53, 26 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Ɱ's review

Following Bruin's review, I invited Ɱ to take a look at this draft and help move it live if they can; thanks so much for jumping in here Ɱ and offering your feedback. Appreciate the edits you made and I've updated the draft per your comments. Regarding the NBA question you had about the fine, I had to go back and look at this again (it's been a while!), and it appears that during the period when the deal was being discussed to move the team, but before anything had been made official, McClendon made the offending statement in the Oklahoma City press. He was fined for his statement because it did not represent or support what the NBA Commissioner, the club chairman, and the ownership team had publicly stated to that point in time. I've updated the wording and added sourcing to support. With the changes in the draft, is it ready to move live in place of the current version? If so, would you be willing to make that move? Thanks, 16912 Rhiannon (Talk · COI) 18:28, 13 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

See also, discussion here re: Business career needing some tightening and edits to reduce promotional wording. 16912 Rhiannon (Talk · COI) 14:39, 15 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

COI disclosure

This draft was prepared as part of my work at Beutler Ink, on behalf of PR agency Saxum for client Aubrey McClendon. 16912 Rhiannon (Talk · COI) 20:23, 9 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]