User:Twogloopies

The Christmas Bathroom Incident

It was 25th of December, the night when Argus was liberating himself from the significant burden.

I suddenly felt the urge to take an insane shit, as per usual

so I went to the bathroom.

Bad mistake.

I unleashed hell on the toilet, and as per usual it all went down pretty easy

Now when i was going to flush the uh,

toilet paper,

things went bad.

it went overboard.

i grabbed the nearest towels, even using the towels my mom tells me not to use when showering

and attempted to stop the river

it went straight through.

i grabbed the nearest paper towels,

and my parents were screaming downstairs

wanna know why?

the shit water was dripping

through the floor

my mom and dad went upstairs to see if i was okay

at this point i had halted the river via an entire roll of paper towels.

i had my feet covered in shit water, however i didn't really care

turns out,

in my frantic attempts to stop the water from overflowing initially, i had broken off the toilet's handle.

therefore, i had to repair the toilet while standing in shit water.

anyways,

i went to the toilet to repair it.

feet covered in shit water.

at first things seemed good,

and the water went down.

in order to see if the toilet was functioning properly, i had flushed it.

Bad mistake.

the water starting rising again.

i tried to stop the overflow again, but i broke the handle yet again.

this time, the handle was physically broken.

like i couldnt even fit it on any more.

i ran and grabbed even more towels, and the shit water was back to where it was before.

this time, i must combat the beast head on.

in this point of my life, i had barely even used a plunger before.

but i tried anyways,

it..

wasnt going good.

At first.

I couldnt plunge,

as there was a bunch of shit water.

However, I had found a way to half-force the broken toilet handle on, and flush it.

partially.

It was good enough for government work, I guess.

I stuck the plunger in the beast's mouth, and watched as strips of half-dissolved toilet paper flew from the sides.

I went in.

Not in the shit water, I mind you,

but,

on the sides holding on like im saving someone from falling off a cliff.

after a long battle, I had done it!

I was flung back 2 meters and smacked my head against my shower's door.

The adrenaline and euphoria saved me from a deadly concussion, though.

I slowly regained my posture, and looked at the reward.

A fine toilet, its almost like nothing had ever happened at all!

I decided to throw my socks in the trash, then parkour onto my towels to the bathroom's escape.

I later took a shower that day.

And then i returned to my room where my computer resides,

and arrived just in time when Argus was about to finish liberating the burden.